Sunday, April 26, 2015

Growing Up an American Christian

Dearest Internauts,

I get it, ok? I'm not some raving, anti-theist who blames religion for every bad thing ever. My parents are extremely devoted to their church and raised me to be a christian. So I understand what having that be such a huge part of one's life can mean.

However, I've also come to a place where I can no longer ignore the manipulative, hypocritical, and severely abusive tactics indoctrinated in me to seem normal throughout my entire up bringing and adolescence. Even now I'm having to build up a whole new sense of identity because my whole life for over two decades was about doing whatever I could to live up to the church's impossible and contradictory standards. Anything good in my life was always labeled as because of God but anything bad or confusing was on me.

Now, while I understand institutional religious practice is crucial to many people's lives, there are some inherent ideological flaws which by their very nature force abuse on any followers (and I'll relate my experience very specifically with Protestant Christianity in the US, though many points can be generalized).

Some will say it's just the abusive relationships I've experienced and I shouldn't disrespect other Christians outside that. I'm not aiming to do anything more than delve into some of the problematic aspects of the faith itself, which should be welcome for one thing and is important to me because of how tight a hold on social and political power it holds in this country.

- sin as a concept being used by leaders to police those with whom they have personal grievances
- the idolization of the bible
- the white-washing of Jesus and other important figures
- the petty game of decontextualizing various scripture passages to prove a moral and often condemning point
- the same decontextualizing used by those out to argue against others' decontextualizing
- the deeply entrenched sexist ramifications of God as male pronouns
- the consistent portrayal of woman as pure temptress and man as mindless beast in lessons of sexuality
- dangerous and foolhardy hushing up of any faults, confusion, uncertainty, or differences
- original sin and intrinsic human depravity as concepts defining people as helplessly evil, twisted, broken, and at fault for all evil
- using the above to pitch and sell religion, first proclaiming how evil we are then telling us only Jesus can help us, and in doing so trapping and monopolizing morality
- close-mindedness to the progress of scientific and sociological shifts even when it's toward more ethical and caring practices
- the labeling of women, lgbtqiaa+, minority ethnic groups, children, those with mental and physical disabilities, and anyone else who to a congregation seems less than or different, labeled as the product or harbinger of sin
- sex as inherently evil or simply a nonexistent topic
- unquestioning support of Israel
- unquestioning support of military and other nationalistic propaganda
- shaming of pacifist, socialist, or even anyone the tad bit to the left
- traditional family values as an excuse to oppress anyone outside that box
- a deep-seeded reverence for wealthy, straight, white, cis-males
-early childhood indoctrination of strict gender roles and the unhealthy presumption and enforcement that all outside them is sinful
- the constant and ready use of a lingering damnation
- the refusal to admit and hold up to a violent past and present
- refusal to admit any fault or contradiction in scripture, preaching, and teaching esp. when covered by a blanket "mystery"
- refusal to confront harmful even abusive teachings toward children, teens, and adults
- a long tradition of placing the blame for any bad thing on the shoulders of one person's or a small group's sin
- constantly returning to the manipulative teaching of just needing more faith or to pray or listen harder instead of actively confronting the issues and unknowns in this sort of religious tradition
- the false modesty combined with a cult of personality surrounding rich celebrity evangelists, bands, and political figures
- a personal relationship with a God who makes it so difficult to have anything but a one-sided conversation
- struggles such as that being portrayed as faults in the one struggling or -- perhaps worse -- as an unavoidable aspect of a mysterious deity
- war and natural disasters being god's way of dealing judgement
- love, grace, mercy, redemption, and faith all stressed to a much lesser extent than sin and the wages therein
- use of scripture and religious doctrine to persecute animals and nature
- use of scripture and religious doctrine to persecute those of other churches, denominations, religions, or lifestyles
- a consistent and political disregard for systemic sources of poverty
- a wariness toward academia, expanding one's knowledge base, and learning in general outside of religious study
- the absurd and often impossibly muddled use of and arguing over religious jargon
- no admittance of how disgustingly awful the acts of both God and the revered figures in the bible truly are
- the contradictions ignored due to such reverence
- such a disregard for young women that Mary, one of the most key figures in the whole of Christianity, can be impregnated without her consent as an early adolescent and the holy rape is seen as such a gift from then on
- the vilification of real people as wholey evil due to a preoccupation with an apocryphal satanic mythology
- raising funds for new, expensive architecture comes before helping those who really need the money
- a silent acceptance of anything a pastor or religious leader does or says
- the continual bloodshed and hate-spewing in Christ's name
- the importance of using people for different ministries over caring for their actual needs
- missions/work and witness trips that end up costing those supposedly helped more in time and money than any actual help given
- those trips breeding of a white-savior complex, encouraged by adults and praised in teens
- no question for the ramifications of prettifying Noah's ark, the fall of Jericho, and other genocidal gore-fests then teaching them to small children
- a dislike for critical thinking, creativity, and self-expression beyond a purely human-based discriminatory standard of religious branding
- forcing complex theological and philosophical generalizations and practices onto children and teens by their parents and teachers
- long lists of dress code policies for girls when guys get one or two items
- seeing a church as progressive if they have at least one token minority
- an unwelcome environment for admitting one's imperfections
- sickening anxiety over living up to unclear, impossible, and ever-changing standards
- defending a God who can control the wind and the waves from being held accountable for tsunamis and other natural disasters
- competitive praise song lyrics putting down other religions
- prejudice excused in church elders
- sexual abuse and assault excused in church elders
- victim blaming before all else
- gay counseling and other forms of abusive and traumatizing bullying and brain-washing by parents, youth leaders, teachers, and pastors
- too many still won't let women preach
- holding a same-sex wedding will often get a revered fired and shunned
- inner politics destroying homes and lives
- those who pray over you one day
- the continuous refusal to admit participation in and work to change any of the above mentioned, consequently bringing up generations of self-righteous, terrified, out of touch, ashamed, traumatized, racist, sexist, classist, transphobic, homophobic, xenophobic, judgemental, hypocritical, unhealthy bigots
- and how I spent most of my life thinking that was the only way to be and now struggle every day to keep living and healing when I grew up learning how best to hate myself

Like I mentioned, this is what I've experienced. However, it's not just my opinion but rather a lifetime of experiences, both my own and those shared with me. I wouldn't go to the trouble of typing all this up if I too hadn't been a part of all of the above and am actively trying to unlearn that way and be a better man.