Here's why, if it has to be one or the other, I prefer to argue facts online and discuss ideas in person. You've most likely done way more research about whatever topic we're arguing.
This is probably why you felt okay getting into an argument in the
first place. Maybe not. If so, though, I'd like to be able to come from a
relatively even ground as far as our abilities to bring up relevant
studies and stats. This way we can actually come to a more educated conclusion of some kind, and whatever our mental scuffle is about will not have been thrown around in vain.
Most
folks I've argued with about facts in person don't want me on an even
ground with them as far as information is concerned. There seems to be
more of an emphasis placed on putting me down for my ignorance than
educating me and possibly learning something themselves. Maybe this is why it turns into an argument, because it's not about respecting the other but putting them in their place.
In most cases, if you really cared about the topic at hand, you'd want to help me understand
where you're coming from, not slam me down with the almighty force of
how brilliantly you memorized an article in the Times. If you want to
try online though, at very least I can also look up so half-assed editorial bullshit as strongly-partisan as yours.
Ideas? Let's discuss ideas anywhere! Anytime! Anyverse! Seriously! Or funnily! I am madly in love with ideas!
Facts? They tend to be boring and I will be critical of your bigotry about how yours are "so much better and therefore I suck."
But ideas? I will make sweet passionate love to ideas and in the morning there will be waffles.
Existential waffles.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Talk, Talk, Talk
Hello dear Internauts,
We judge someone's intelligence most often not on what they actually know or have the ability to know but on their ability to communicate that information in a way that we, with our own level of intelligence, can understand, interpret, or at least perceive as intelligent. Therefore, if someone communicates in a way we believe is unintelligent, we judge them as being unintelligent, no matter what they're actually saying.
For example, the social commentary in rap music can often teach young people outside an urban setting a whole lot more about life in the city than they are led to believe by their racist parents who don't like all that "ghetto speak".
Personally, I've only recently begun to see how truly brilliant my own mother is, partially because she is the only member of my immediate family to exhibit some blatantly extroverted communicative behaviors when it comes to sharing and processing ideas. Where my father, my sister, and I will think about what we want to say about a topic and then dismiss that and say something else entirely, my mother can carry on entirely one-sided conversations for hours, seeming to touch on every side of the topic but never quite pin-pointing her meaning. In either case, true feelings are hidden from the listener, but since I was used to communicating through what I pretentiously refer to as my "filter", I thought my method of selectively sniping out bits of opinion was more thoughtful and intellectually sound. I do not mean to say I ever saw her as particularly unintelligent, but it was a lot harder for me as someone who lives so much of my life inside my head, to relate to and interpret a much more external thought-life. Turns out, it's simply a difference in communication styles
While my method of throwing out a thought once it has been checked, rechecked, reworked ten times is a lot like an email or facebook chat or other form of turn-based correspondence, hers is more immediate and interactive. She is leaving more room for listeners to jump in and split the conversation off by sharing some of her thought process with the other. While remaining intellectually independent in the source of her thinking, her communication style opens up the thought process between the speaker and the listener.
Earlier I called this more "all cards on the table" method of communication blatantly extroverted not simply because in the more common sense my mother is definitely socially extroverted, but because this style of hers seems to me to be far more interactive for a group of two or more. You share your ideas and I'll share mine and we'll have this conversation together as it were. The more introverted form I find myself falling into seems to be so because it has already form a shell of opinions about the idea it's going to present before bringing it before any listener.
Ultimately, the language, the slang, and the personal communication styles of a speaker don't give you nearly as much basis to judge their intelligence as we often try to reason. Just cause someone talks in a way you find unintelligent doesn't mean they are. Maybe we're dismissing some important ideas simply because of our prejudices toward how folks "should" talk. Worse still, maybe we're dismissing an entire person.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Speaking of things to listen to, feel free to check out my new song Philadelphia, based on some real-life experiences I had getting lost in the city.
If you'd like you can listen to and download the song HERE.
Any proceeds from the track will go towards ProjectHome as they help to get folks in Philly into good homes.
We judge someone's intelligence most often not on what they actually know or have the ability to know but on their ability to communicate that information in a way that we, with our own level of intelligence, can understand, interpret, or at least perceive as intelligent. Therefore, if someone communicates in a way we believe is unintelligent, we judge them as being unintelligent, no matter what they're actually saying.
For example, the social commentary in rap music can often teach young people outside an urban setting a whole lot more about life in the city than they are led to believe by their racist parents who don't like all that "ghetto speak".
Personally, I've only recently begun to see how truly brilliant my own mother is, partially because she is the only member of my immediate family to exhibit some blatantly extroverted communicative behaviors when it comes to sharing and processing ideas. Where my father, my sister, and I will think about what we want to say about a topic and then dismiss that and say something else entirely, my mother can carry on entirely one-sided conversations for hours, seeming to touch on every side of the topic but never quite pin-pointing her meaning. In either case, true feelings are hidden from the listener, but since I was used to communicating through what I pretentiously refer to as my "filter", I thought my method of selectively sniping out bits of opinion was more thoughtful and intellectually sound. I do not mean to say I ever saw her as particularly unintelligent, but it was a lot harder for me as someone who lives so much of my life inside my head, to relate to and interpret a much more external thought-life. Turns out, it's simply a difference in communication styles
While my method of throwing out a thought once it has been checked, rechecked, reworked ten times is a lot like an email or facebook chat or other form of turn-based correspondence, hers is more immediate and interactive. She is leaving more room for listeners to jump in and split the conversation off by sharing some of her thought process with the other. While remaining intellectually independent in the source of her thinking, her communication style opens up the thought process between the speaker and the listener.
Earlier I called this more "all cards on the table" method of communication blatantly extroverted not simply because in the more common sense my mother is definitely socially extroverted, but because this style of hers seems to me to be far more interactive for a group of two or more. You share your ideas and I'll share mine and we'll have this conversation together as it were. The more introverted form I find myself falling into seems to be so because it has already form a shell of opinions about the idea it's going to present before bringing it before any listener.
Ultimately, the language, the slang, and the personal communication styles of a speaker don't give you nearly as much basis to judge their intelligence as we often try to reason. Just cause someone talks in a way you find unintelligent doesn't mean they are. Maybe we're dismissing some important ideas simply because of our prejudices toward how folks "should" talk. Worse still, maybe we're dismissing an entire person.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Speaking of things to listen to, feel free to check out my new song Philadelphia, based on some real-life experiences I had getting lost in the city.
If you'd like you can listen to and download the song HERE.
Any proceeds from the track will go towards ProjectHome as they help to get folks in Philly into good homes.
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