Fury.

Hey Internauts,

For some reason my uncle wanted to see the Brad Pitt helmed WWII flick FURY.

My thoughts can be summed up with how they treated the only two actresses with lines: Main characters break into their house with guns. The "hero" is implied to sleep with the younger of the two, which in this case no matter how nice he is or cute they are, that's definitely rape. More soldiers come in and the older of the girls makes dinner for them as they harass their hosts and threaten them. Then three minutes later the house is bombed so I guess they outlive their usefulness for food, sex, and showing a more human side to the guys(?) so now they die...ugh.

With the amount of major violence and tragic valient sacrifice the movie was masturbatory patriarchy at its most conniving but then brad pitt and logan lerman may still get fucking nominated cause soldiers have feelings or some shit.

My dad says he hopes folks can learn from this, but maybe I'm a little jaded after my entire life of being presided over by war-mongering snake oil salesman. Gotta support the troops no matter what right? What about what's done to them to get them to that point? What about the horrors that could have been avoided if not for greedy fascist politicians years or decades before (oil, anti-communism, the treaty of Versailles) who never learn from History?

It's okay to be afraid of the future, but a fearful future should not be the goal of any society. Be proactive in preventing violence abroad and at home before it goes that far. After all, how many civilians must die before you're willing to question your damn jingoistic bullshit?

[in other news, I've been in New England this week getting something special cooked up for you lovely folks so feel free to get inappropriately excited]

Yo No Home but Phones Though, So...

My oldschool little brick of a phone finally went kaput today after over two years. Now, with my family's verizon contract, I can get an upgrade free of charge for certain kinds of phones.
I've gone this long without a smart phone, but it looks like the only ones that are free or below thirty bucks are smart phones.

The cheap-looking flip phones? between 100 and 150 bucks easy. Now, I don't know the business reasons behind this and i don't really care too much.

However, the next time i hear or read someone goin off about "why all these homeless folks walkin round with iphones?" I can inform them based on actual first hand experience that a lot can change in one or two or however many years before your phone breaks.

Need a new phone and don't have much money for anything, well the contract you signed way back in the day says you can get this iphone 5c for free or this iphone 4s for 99cents or all this samsung for...well you get it.

Whether folks got a nice phone before their situations got as rough as you can see or they got it for free under a plan they've had for a long ass time (or whatever the situation because it's none of your business) it's not and has never been about some sort of irresponsible allocation of resources.

Those with affluence have always looked for ways to justify why others go without, and this tactic of pointing out the little that those on the bottom of society's food chain do have is purposefully distracting from real social ills.

If you have money, that does not mean that you are in any way better equipped to handle the responsibility of having money.
 
And speaking of smart phones, what kind of patronizing, hypocritical a-hole do you have to be to care more about a human being who is starving will do with your pocket change than what a multinational corporation will do with a huge chunk of your paycheck every month?

Do you really care more about how that guy might be lying to you—the one who politely asks if you can offer anything so he and his family might get some bread or water or tickets for a bus to a better town? Is that legitimately more important to you than the amount you hand over gratefully to corporations whose track records are well known to care so little for human life or worker's rights or the environment?

Because we know this isn't really about whether or not your quarter or your dollar bill goes to a sandwich or to booze.
 
It's a good excuse for a distracting tangential conversation about socially conscious macroeconomics and other bullshit we don't really care about while we sip our lattes. Maybe later we can smoke some pot and listen to covers of Pete Seeger and act like we give a damn about the world before Monday comes around and we head back to a job we hate but it pays the bills and for our xbox live gold membership.

Nah, what this is about is karma, plain and simple.

We still believe that we deserve the good stuff that happens to us while all the bad stuff is unjust.
 
We still believe that others most have done something to deserve the bad stuff that happens to them, while growing ever jealous of how all the good stuff happens to other people who don't really deserve it.

And on the off chance some real person could really use some real help, why bother, right? I mean, c'mon, some of "those people" have smartphones.

Superheroes

Hey Internauts,
It's that time of year again. You know what I mean, those few weeks a year where a lot of horrible stuff seems to happen all at once. For those of you like me, that's kinda how I feel most of the year anyway. So in the spirit of positivity, let's talk about a topic I love.

I love superheroes. In books, comics, graphic novels, movies, stickers, action figures, and whatever other medium they may appear. I love superheroes. I have my whole life and I probably always will.

But let's talk about the problems with crime fighting as a central theme in a world where laws are very often not a good basis for morality and those who enforce them often act like more like badguys.

How about violence as not only the main way but often the only way to solve a conflict, when in real life it tends to only make more conflict.

Not to mention that even though we're slowly getting better at writing female superheroes, we still draw most of them like they're bikini models, even when it makes no logical sense to do so, and dole out decent characterization in film adaptations, in large part, to the dudes.

And what's up with changing the main character in a lot of these films from a complex and well-rounded (thought admittedly most often white and male) misogynistic douchebag? [i'm lookin at you GoTG]

But like I said, I still love superheroes. I love what those stories can teach us and inspire in us and reflect back at us when they are at their best.

At the end of the day, I would rather boys and girls grow up wanting to save people and work as a team and believe that good can prevail than I would have them think that all they have to offer can be counted in dollars and cents.

And for those of us who are no longer so little, remember that we can still be heroes when we work together to stand up against the forces of injustice in the real world.

"When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth and tell the whole world, 'No, you move'." -Captain America

_____________________________________

Pigs on Patrol (Acoustic) 

The Unrequited Shove

Hey there, Internauts!

Just got back from a really cool show, opening for Whitney McCombs. Always a true honor and pleasure to see her perform live. Kasey Williams accompanied her on guitar, bringing a whole new level to the game. There will potentially be some audio and/or video stuff from that show coming soonish, but first I'd like to write about something that's been on my mind lately...

Here's the thing, bro. You think you're mad at her. You think you're upset because she chose some guy she just met over you, her friend of however long. You think that what really pisses you off is her decisions and how they've affected your life from what you hoped it would be.



But you're not mad at her. Not really.



Truth is you're mad at yourself, but it's way easier to direct that negativity at her. You've been taught how to treat women like shit your whole life. You're confusing yourself, lying to yourself, and in this way becoming just another guy treating a woman like shit. Stop it.

JUST STOP.

Breathe.

Remove yourself from the immediate situation—whether that be physically leaving the room or maybe just logging off the social media.

Think about why you're really mad.

Perhaps you feel it took a lot of bravery to confess your feelings, and your expectation of reward led to disappointment.

Perhaps you see your friend’s response as somehow a rejection of you as a person, instead of simply a reasonable response to a difference in attraction.

Perhaps you feel led on for some reason, or that you’ve worked hard to earn some kind of favorable response.

Well, as for that last one: NO. She doesn’t owe you anything. If she’s really your friend, then she gave you the best thing a friend can give, her honesty. Whether she let you down easy or quick and fierce like ripping off a band-aid, her reasons are her own for why she felt that was the best response to what will always be a difficult and uncomfortable situation. She owes you no response, whether physical or emotional or otherwise, that was somehow earned by your friendship. Friendship isn’t about capital. It’s about caring.

For the second case, no one can decide for you how you see yourself. You are a person. You have worth and life and plenty of uniquely attractive features to your complex self. None of this was being brought into question by your female friend telling you she doesn’t want to date you. I repeat, your worth as a human being has nothing to do with who does or doesn’t want to be your significant other.

I know it can feel like you just risked everything for the sake of these grand emotions. Honesty is always brave, definitely. Keep in mind, though, that your part was solely to share how you felt. Her response is not in your control nor should she be held responsible if it doesn’t match with your expectations. You are two separate people. Emotions don’t always match up. Just as said previously, there’s nothing you can do to place another person in relationship debt to you.

If all you wanted was a dating relationship, then it probably wasn’t the greatest friendship anyway.

Move along.

However, if you really do care for this person, then you’ve just survived one of life’s more awkward conversations and can go back to being friends. This may take a while, as your heart may need time to heal. You may have to separate yourself so you can get over these feelings. Ultimately, your friends with this person because of all these great things about them anyway, so it’s okay to still think highly of them. The key is releasing pressure on all sides.

No one should feel pressured to be in a relationship with anyone else. Nothing healthy will come from that.

You are not worth any less as a person because someone else doesn’t reciprocate your feelings.

It may take longer than you’d hope, but feelings can change. It’s better to have saved a friendship, than to have lost both a friendship and a relationship that was never gonna work anyway. Do what you need to so you can heal and accept your friend’s decision. In growing to respect how they feel, you’ll be growing as a person, too.

Remember, no one owes you their love, their body, their time, their attention, etc...

The only one you can decide for is you.

It’s gonna be okay.

Breathe.

Step away.

Think.

And don’t blame others when you’re really mad at yourself.

(Obviously, every individual situation will be different, but what this really comes down to is respect. Respect for another person enough to consider her feelings and not hold her to unreasonable expectations. Respect for yourself enough not to base your worth off who does or doesn’t want to make out with you or marry you.)

It’s gonna be okay.

[Note: A lot of the above language fits into a stereotypically heteronormative situation of a male  reacting to a female reacting to the male. The advice can certainly be applied to many relationship situations, no matter the gender constraints. However, this choice of language was due to the disproportionate number of males who have decided to ostracize, abuse, and even in some cases violently murder females in the name of what said males thought they deserved. A better world is possible, but it starts with respect.]

Courage

The stories that have meant the most to me growing up were usually tales of ordinary folks facing extraordinary circumstances. They faced their fears when what was frightful was fantastically frightful.

Now I face ordinary circumstances with extraordinary fears. Ordinary life is strenuous and anxiety-producing and difficult in ways that feel like fighting giants and dragons and climbing mountains but look like going to the store or making a phone call.

Still, the heroism in those stories helps me believe that maybe just maybe I can face the everyday monstrosities with the courage of an adventurer.

Real adult life is turning out very differently than I thought it would when I was a kid, but that doesn’t mean I am any less equipped by the morality, ingenuity, and bravery of those fictional heroes to face my real challenges and trials.

"Real Men"

 Dear Internauts,

I don't know what it's like to be a female and to face the kind of sexist horror that females face on the daily. I feel like the most I can do is be supportive, try to learn and grow and change my way of thinking, and to call out other males being a-holes so we can all grow and change for the better.

My whole life I've been told that what makes a "real man" is a set of attributes that could also describe an old tree, or a bear, or a member of the Round Table of Camelot. The strength of both body, mind, and character required to live up to manhood standards varied widely depending on who was giving the lecture and in most cases seemed to have something to do with that guy's own deep insecurities.

Sometimes it was about taking care of the family.
Sometimes it was about hating the Yankees.
Sometimes it was about wearing boxers instead of briefs.

But the idea that there is a separation between a biological maleness and a cultural maleness, and that the accomplishment of the latter as a kind of more sincere maturity, brings to fruition some secret goal of the former into capital M Man is dangerously pervasive in the way we raise not only young boys but all children. What makes a man a man?

Appealing to this competition based quest for identity and belonging may suit some marketers, but as has been pointed out by many smart bloggers on here, actual "REAL" men commit hate crimes, against women, minorities, children, and other men. Therefore should the idea for fighting abuse that "real men don't _____" be abolished as a slogan? Or perhaps is there some underlying psychology that can reveal a way to reach young men before they follow in the violent footsteps of their predecessors?

As boys we are told that real men, manly men, true men, whatever... are leaders. That's fine and all, but when specified, leadership is taught as taking control from others, maintaining a strong stance of power over others, and shutting down others' attempts to gain any control or power in their lives.

Not only is there an always present paranoia that one might disappoint male authority figures but that, as men, we must fight them for power and do whatever it takes to hold onto that power once we have it.

One way to interrupt this cycle is through example. Kids need not only female and male authority figures in their life to be open and honest with them from a place of equality but also to be allowed the same opportunities and responsibilities, with no arbitrary limitations set up simply because of socially inflicted gender norms.

It is my strongly held belief that if children are raised up from a place of equality, both in how they are treated and how their examples of appropriate adulthood treat one another, than they will mature along those lines. If however, girls and boys are told that the "real" version of their adult self must hold to some superficial and harmful standard of behavior, ability, or appearance, than the current cycles of violent oppression will continue.

Start from equality. Exemplify positive interaction. Grow in individuality as well as honest community. And of course remember that life is messy and complicated. There are no easy answers.

The problem, however, is obvious. Men must stop committing violent acts. “Violence is the behavior of someone incapable of imagining other solutions to the problem at hand" (Vincenc Fisas).

Yes, it comes down to power, which means it comes down to the fear of losing power, which means it comes down to thinking that a man's identity is founded upon power.
The ultimate fear is being no one, losing self. So we must stop teaching boys that maleness equals power. We must stop equating competition over power to an unequal gender system and instead recognize how such an infrastructure has devastated our species for far too long.

Women deserve better, so much better. Little boys deserve better than to have their biggest examples be violent, weapon-baring, greedy, narcissists. Little girls deserve better than to be told they must live to please such villains.

That's all I've got for now...what are your thoughts?

Facade

Growing up going to camp and school and church, I heard a lot of speeches about the way my female peers ought to dress so as not to tempt the males. At the same time, the males were taught how to avoid being tempted by the inherent and evil sexuality of females. This was usually a lecture presented by an adult male to adolescent males and females. This fixation on the sexualization of the female body, of the snare males could so easily fall into by womanly wiles, of the double standard by which one group was declared dangerously powerful and therefore stripped of all power. This was often followed by an addendum that girls should remember they are more than their outward appearance.

Honestly, I’ve no idea how any of my female peers make it through such cognitive dissonance and oppressive hypocrisy. I’m so sorry for the ways in which I’ve pushed this propaganda myself. Thank you for being patient with me anyway.

And guys, let’s step it up. Call out sexism both in ourselves and others. Be respectful. Please.

__________

I know it's been a while since I've posted here and for that I apologize. I have so very much I'd like to express about these many months but have yet to find the right words. Soon though, I hope.

In the meantime, feel free to check out my new album, HAZARD LIGHTS
 
Half of all future album sales will be going toward WATER

Why You're Wrong aka Existential Waffles

Here's why, if it has to be one or the other, I prefer to argue facts online and discuss ideas in person. You've most likely done way more research about whatever topic we're arguing. This is probably why you felt okay getting into an argument in the first place. Maybe not. If so, though, I'd like to be able to come from a relatively even ground as far as our abilities to bring up relevant studies and stats. This way we can actually come to a more educated conclusion of some kind, and whatever our mental scuffle is about will not have been thrown around in vain.

Most folks I've argued with about facts in person don't want me on an even ground with them as far as information is concerned. There seems to be more of an emphasis placed on putting me down for my ignorance than educating me and possibly learning something themselves. Maybe this is why it turns into an argument, because it's not about respecting the other but putting them in their place.

In most cases, if you really cared about the topic at hand, you'd want to help me understand where you're coming from, not slam me down with the almighty force of how brilliantly you memorized an article in the Times. If you want to try online though, at very least I can also look up so half-assed editorial bullshit as strongly-partisan as yours. 

Ideas? Let's discuss ideas anywhere! Anytime! Anyverse! Seriously! Or funnily! I am madly in love with ideas!

Facts? They tend to be boring and I will be critical of your bigotry about how yours are "so much better and therefore I suck."

But ideas? I will make sweet passionate love to ideas and in the morning there will be waffles.

Existential waffles.

Talk, Talk, Talk

Hello dear Internauts,

We judge someone's intelligence most often not on what they actually know or have the ability to know but on their ability to communicate that information in a way that we, with our own level of intelligence, can understand, interpret, or at least perceive as intelligent. Therefore, if someone communicates in a way we believe is unintelligent, we judge them as being unintelligent, no matter what they're actually saying.

For example, the social commentary in rap music can often teach young people outside an urban setting a whole lot more about life in the city than they are led to believe by their racist parents who don't like all that "ghetto speak".

Personally, I've only recently begun to see how truly brilliant my own mother is, partially because she is the only member of my immediate family to exhibit some blatantly extroverted communicative behaviors when it comes to sharing and processing ideas. Where my father, my sister, and I will think about what we want to say about a topic and then dismiss that and say something else entirely, my mother can carry on entirely one-sided conversations for hours, seeming to touch on every side of the topic but never quite pin-pointing her meaning. In either case, true feelings are hidden from the listener, but since I was used to communicating through what I pretentiously refer to as my "filter", I thought my method of selectively sniping out bits of opinion was more thoughtful and intellectually sound. I do not mean to say I ever saw her as particularly unintelligent, but it was a lot harder for me as someone who lives so much of my life inside my head, to relate to and interpret a much more external thought-life. Turns out, it's simply a difference in communication styles

While my method of throwing out a thought once it has been checked, rechecked, reworked ten times is a lot like an email or facebook chat or other form of turn-based correspondence, hers is more immediate and interactive. She is leaving more room for listeners to jump in and split the conversation off by sharing some of her thought process with the other. While remaining intellectually independent in the source of her thinking, her communication style opens up the thought process between the speaker and the listener.

Earlier I called this more "all cards on the table" method of communication blatantly extroverted not simply because in the more common sense my mother is definitely socially extroverted, but because this style of hers seems to me to be far more interactive for a group of two or more. You share your ideas and I'll share mine and we'll have this conversation together as it were. The more introverted form I find myself falling into seems to be so because it has already form a shell of opinions about the idea it's going to present before bringing it before any listener.

Ultimately, the language, the slang, and the personal communication styles of a speaker don't give you nearly as much basis to judge their intelligence as we often try to reason. Just cause someone talks in a way you find unintelligent doesn't mean they are. Maybe we're dismissing some important ideas simply because of our prejudices toward how folks "should" talk. Worse still, maybe we're dismissing an entire person.

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Speaking of things to listen to, feel free to check out my new song Philadelphia, based on some real-life experiences I had getting lost in the city.

If you'd like you can listen to and download the song HERE.

Any proceeds from the track will go towards ProjectHome as they help to get folks in Philly into good homes.