Monday, July 31, 2017

30/52 - The Human Escape

"All the seven deadly sins are man's true nature. To be greedy. To be hateful. To have lust. Of course, you have to control them, but if you're made to feel guilty for being human, then you're going to be trapped in a never-ending sin-and-repent cycle that you can't escape from." - Marilyn Manson


Dear Internauts,

Happiness is more than the absence of sadness. Sometimes one requires the other.

I don't drop into nightmares every time I drift off to sleep like I did for years. They're still there, but I think the plots have all played out. I learned to accept the kind of absurd logic that comes from never being fully awake or asleep. It's like the flavor of lonely memories that make me stop and recollect that, oh yeah, that wasn't a conversation I had but one I watched other folks have online or read in a book somewhere. I'm still scared like hyper alert but that nerves wears out too much, and now it's just like a begrudging distrust of people, situations, attitudes, and the general reality that slides in and out of a subtly morphing repeat repeat repeat.

We argue a lot about stuff that doesn't much matter. Maybe part of it is that the stuff that matters most to us is sometimes the hardest to defend. We can't pretend to understand any other position, so we hold our inner truth to be self-evident. Though what evidence there is or isn't is only evident to our self. Sometimes. It's much easier to believe that there's a line and on the other side there be monsters.

I'm nauseated on the thought of constantly saying those who don't care about the people or situations or ideas like I do must therefore be evil. The very idea of evil is a distraction anyway; it's problematically inefficient and gets in the way.

I have the entirety of human knowledge—or close enough to it—burning up my fingertips, so if you're gonna ask me to care, we've both gotta admit I'm not gonna give you even close to my full attention. It's no excuse to simply say I can't. It's the reality. Most of our causes are founded upon impulses we become too quickly entrenched in to back out from, not some big logical treatise we took the time to research and consider from all sides. Not to say they're any less important, but rather that importance is of course subjective.

Really, the only things you have to do are those things you don't have a choice in, which makes them things you're not really doing anyway. We say have to do, but we always mean within a mutually assumed context. And yeah that context can be anything from "we feel like it" to "otherwise we die". There's not much point in pretending we have the freedom to choose if we're not willing to at least consider making higher stakes decisions.

Looking back, I cared way too much what people thought of me as a teenager. How many would say that's true of them as well? I wanna see hands raised. Great. We get eachother. But it's more than that. For how many of us is that still true?

I'm not gonna judge you and say YOU care too much. It's ultimately up to you. You've gotta base your sense of morality or even reality upon something, and other people are as good as we've got in our big, lonely universe. At least the feedback is semi-constant. Though it is true what they say that we think about what other people think of us far more than other people think of us.

Then again, that's only something I can understand if other people think about other people as much as I think about other people in comparison to how much I think about myself. From this blog, it should be obvious, I'm enormously self-centered. Still, I don't think that necessarily requires selfishness. If I'm to do anything for anyone else, I must first convince myself of some reason it's worth doing.

Maybe we just want to be the kind of person who does things for other people. Maybe we just want to be the kind of person who does things for other people in a way which suggests we get nothing out of it besides the doing. I think the pain and sacrifice required by the self-righteous in order to do real "good" is an oversimplification of human experience. You can't choose not to be in pain or to make choices which sacrifice something for something else. You simply choose which choices to make. The pain is existence. What you do with it, I suppose, is called character. Then again, there's too much about that, which again, requires the opinion of other people to be imposed upon my own sense of self worth.

Why must I have any sense of self worth? I don't much think about it when I'm too busy writing nonsense like this or drawing a picture or writing a song or walking down the sidewalk imagining up lives for the passersby. But I think about it, and to say that anyone who thinks about "why" thinks too much is only to admit that you don't think much. Again, that's me being self-centered.

Which is okay. Because I'm just a brain in a jar. Or maybe not.

Either way, you've read this far, so here's a picture from the last show. It's of me, of course, because if nothing else, I'm thematic.

(pic by Jonah from Bridging the Music)

Thanks for reading, 
Odist

Monday, July 24, 2017

29/52 - After the Show (The Sky Outside)

"I close both locks below the window
I close both blinds and turn away
Sometimes solutions aren't so simple
Sometimes goodbye's the only way" 
- Linkin Park

Dear Internauts, 

The sky outside is a shade of grayish-green, mean and striped with occasional wisps of flimsy smoke.

The MA Solo Artist Awards show went came and went like a summer storm. I'm sitting here at a cafe with the hope that getting out of the house will help me focus enough to write a blog post, but mostly it's just getting me anxious about being around people again.

Sometimes it feels like I'm competent and prepared and capable. Most of the time I'm just recovering from the latest nightmare, trying to dig up enough energy to handle whatever new challenge the day may introduce.

So the show: it went well. Believe it or not, I think it was probably my best set ever as a solo performer.

Honestly, I really do miss playing with a band, though that time in my life was so much shorter. Getting to record with other artists has shown me that my songwriting has grown not just for individual performance but for inspiring others. Most of that is simply the luck of having met some truly talented and brilliant folks who create truly wonderful music. I tend to prefer music as a kind of collaborative medium anyway, despite that most of my writing and performing has occurred as a solo artist.

Though I'm used to the two song sets afforded by open mics, I yearn for the chance to construct a more full and expressive journey as can be found with more songs. For this set I was able to squeeze in four pieces (Pigs on Patrol, Philadelphia, Blue Collar Mama, and What Really Matters). It's not much time to make a real mark, but then I'm sure we both know how that can be far too long to sit through for some performances. Thus why I must and did try to make sure I come in with a big bang. The styling must be unique, while understanding of that I am still a lone baritone with an acoustic guitar. Thankfully, what some may consider a weakness with the simplicity of my set-up, I can use to my advantage. Having ultimate control allows me a freedom both in practice and presentation to head in whatever direction I so choose. A band is restricted in its need to unify, though this is not without its parallels in a solo performance. My singing, playing, energy, confidence, and movement all need to be as attention-grabbing as any band (say for instance the "featured band" of nu-metal local rockers who essentially closed out the night for the sake of drawing a crowd to this somewhat ridiculous event). With four songs—in this case—and only me to share them, there's no real room for timidity or even much ambiguity. I've played a few shows wherein no one payed any attention, and that's a given for a solo acoustic act (or any act really) in a loud bar setting.

Still, I can't just be all style over substance. For one thing, I'm not that good. My singing and playing are not at a level where someone is gonna watch solely because of that. I'm a combination act. Thus I gotta play to my strengths. Despite my usual inability to see much of anything I do or have as a strength, I've been performing for most of my life or long enough anyway to know that I do have something to say. I think everyone does, but I've simply come to recognize that my short time on that stage or while someone is clicking through tracks means that poignancy and frankness are just as important as passion and energy. Like a folk song written as simply as possible around a repeated theme or a pop song with a catchy chorus and a pounding rhythm, the message of a song must resonate inescapably with the listener. Even if you disagree with or find yourself differently interpreting the themes of my lyrics, it's my job to make sure they hit you from a place of genuine, unabashed legitness. That doesn't mean I can't or shouldn't be poetic or broad in due course, but it does mean there ain't much point in throwing a line at you just because it's catchy.

Oh sure, I love a fun rhyme or a simple melody that hits and sticks as much as anyone—maybe more than many—but what's great about the best of those is something I have neither enough skill or interest in to truly manufacture. The ones who do pop best are those who have a passion for it, just like those who do orchestral movie soundtracks or jazz bass lines. My heart may love those too, but my creative abilities and the inspiration that fuels them have found a medium—for the moment—of just trying to create something fresh and honest and intense enough to be grabbing in this weird acoustic alt-rock (folk pop rap punk jam) blend that can only be described as Odist Abettor music.

Maybe it's all poetic in that we all have our own kinds of music to share. But really, you don't owe anyone anything and they don't owe you anything either. It's what you want to give once you recognize that you do have so much to give. Even if you feel like you're nothing and you've got nothing, it is those very thoughts which reveal the edges of this grand depth beneath the surface.

Okay?

Okay.

The sky outside is a shade of faded blue jeans, lean and stretched with scraps of dusty gauze.

Thanks for reading (and thanks so much to those folks who bought tickets and especially those who came out to the show this past Thursday—hopefully, there are many more shows to come),
Odist

p.s.- two artists that definitely stood out at the show (and you should check out):

Jamil Kassam

King Arthur Junior

p.p.s. - here's a video from author, John Green, that shares some things I've been thinking about lately:


p.p.p.s. I still don't know how to process my thoughts about the loss of Chester Bennington. This is gonna hurt for a long time. He will be very missed.

Monday, July 17, 2017

28/52 - Not D23-Worthy But an Update Nonetheless

Dear Internauts,

Just a short update for ya beautiful people in between practicing for the upcoming show and working on the art for finishing up chapter one of the comic.

Originally, chapter one was gonna be eight pages long, but it's turning into nine or ten pages. The ending of the chapter wasn't gripping enough. I'll also be completely rewriting the dialogue/narration and thus re-lettering the pages. The font was also too large in the first draft, meaning the bubbles and boxes took up too much space. It's all learning this whole new art form that takes up what I think will be at least twice as much time as each other successive chapter will take once I've got the hang of it. (If you would be interested in reading and critiquing an early draft, let me know as it would be a big help.)  What I can tell you so far is that Chapter One follows Polly Ono, a red-suited cyborg mechanic smuggling a bag of precious materials along an old sea wall high above the future city of Domus. Things quickly go sideways and running this favor for a friend soon turns into a life-threatening adventure. YAY!

Currently waiting on a response from the concert booker about the exact set time I'll be allowed, but I've got plenty of songs to fill up whatever space I'm given. Might even bring in a brand new one.

If you live anywhere near Somerville, MA, I'll be playing at the MA Solo Artist Awards on Thursday, July 20th at Thunder Road. For more info and to get tickets, please check this out. I'd really love to see you there. If you do come, please feel free to say hi.

Honestly, been feeling really exhausted lately. Not sleeping much, so I spend time working on art and writing while trying to figure out next steps for life. Really, I'm just taking it one moment at a time. Both life and this blog should pick up in some unknown ways after the show.

By the way, for a simple meal/treat, toast some bread, put some cheese and black beans on it with relish/pickles and sriracha. It's great, easy, fast, and pairs well with potato chips.

Thanks for reading,
Odist

Monday, July 10, 2017

27/52 - Superhero Punching Match

"It is certain, in any case, that ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have." - James Baldwin


Dear Internauts, 

Been sitting on this blog all night and day trying to organize my thoughts into something resembling coherence. I mean, let's not let our standards get too crazy out of control, but it's been fairly obvious of late that I've lost whatever crispy remnant of my sanity held cognitive structures one to the next.

I mean, how many times can I turn over and fall back to sleep? Worse, how many times must I reach a point of waking only to groan (sometimes out loud), "damn you reality." Sure, my dreaming hasn't been incredibly productive or anything, but at least I have a right to feel victimized in my nightmares—even if only in a solipsistic sense. 

Now I could type something topical and timely here about, say, defense spending, but I think instead I should type something topical and timely here about, say, super hero stories. 

Boy, do I love me some good super hero stories! 

As we know, though, thinking critically about a work is a true sign of love for that work. 

Thus, when I mention how much I love(d) Spider-Man: Homecoming, it also comes to mind, how important it is we get a scene of Spidey committing violence in the name of justice only to realize he acted without having all the right 
information. 

Of course I'm referring to the one scene when...but also that other scene when...and oh yeah, there's the other scene when... OH MY WORD WE HAVE A THEME!!! It's certainly not all the movie is about, but boy does WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY play well with all its lovely little tropey children. 

One of the things I love about Spider-Man as a character is that he's one of the few Marvel characters who can accomplish some of the best humanizing characterization the House of Ideas has to offer while still being unapologetically a super hero vigilante detective crime fighter. With both Marvel and DC comics filling so many of their story-lines with in-fighting, universe-shattering events, and/or crossovers you need spreadsheets and a platinum account to follow, it can feel like the big 2 comics publishers spend almost as much time avoiding the old baseline as they do retelling the origin stories of their beloveds. 

(Granted, does anyone do a detective story in costume quite like a good Batman?  When you break it down, the worst of those tales sprinkle clues in the drips from generic goons' bloody noses and gadget-based Deus Ex McGuffins.  The best writers and artists must recognize that Bruce is a 1%-er taking out his childhood trauma on the poor, disenfranchised, and mentally ill. Some choose to revel in this, making Bats out as just as if not more unstable than his rogues gallery, while others seem almost tone deaf to the hypocrisy and inherently cyclical nature of his one man war on crime.)

Spider-Man takes maybe several less cues per issue from scientific detective stories than Batman, but as with almost every comic book hero, the genre-bending is latched inextricably with the tastes of the particular writer. Why I and many others love our flustered webhead so much stems from the human drama and spirit of perseverance which underlies his best tales. Now unlike the CW's DC shows—of which I am mostly a huge fan—Spider-Man has had a long, long history of working out the balance between heart-breaking and face-punching. You need to care about the people in the fight if you're to really care about the fight. Contrariwise, if the fight only seems to exist to take a breather between characters having the same melodramatic conversation for the fortieth time that episode/issue, then it's just another weird teen drama shot in toronto with a bunch of hot shirtless guys,  uncomfortable pauses between cuts, and every minor twists treated like someone just blew up the moon. Thankfully, both the CW shows and Spider-Man's writers tend to get better at all this with time, and Spidey's had far more than most for developing a truly teenage superhero tale. His stories deal with angst, homework, dating, money trouble, family struggles, public image, and more while still feeling adequately super

Now, this isn't always the case, but when done well, Peter Parker's growth and Spider-Man's growth are linked by one of the true hallmarks of a lasting serial hero: he can never catch a break but will never give up. Even when everything is against him, even when he can't seem to go on or doesn't know how or thinks he maybe shouldn't...he does. You could also say this goes back to the basics of characterization in general: will to action. The good, simple plots work because they are driven by character choice. To act and react. 

We don't need a hero who never questions themselves or their world, but there is something truly refreshing in being able to see a young Peter or Miles acting heroically while still in the process of growing to figure out what heroism even is. Captain America based a lot of his ideas of heroism around a fight against big evil. Whether it be his mother's losing fight against illness or the allies verse the axis, his origin is essentially one of what happens when you give a truly stubborn idealist the power to punch symbolic BAD in the face. Of course this has meant different things for each generation of reader/viewer, but for me personally, I'd say this has carried over better than Superman's take on that kinda reasoning because of more complex characterization, a grounded sense of relevancy, and an ability to evolve that relevancy throughout the twentieth and twenty-first century. 

Now, Supes is more like a mythical figure himself, and in many of his stories, there's a sense that most of the page has to be taken up by either reiterating how amazing he is or putting on some elaborate song and dance about how human he really is. For a recent example of why being NOT human can be a great thing for characters trying to fit into a human world, try Tom King's The Vision series. 

At this point, it may seem like I'm too biased against DC. I'll not fight that point except to say that I think the best stories from Marvel, DC, or whomever else always have a strong recognition of who their characters are and what they're about, bringing greatness out of that knowledge instead of spending time and effort on trying to make us forget. Made-ya-look trickery is a great joke for elementary school, but not for building a meaningful relationship between writer/artist and reader. 

So what does all this have to do with Spider-Man and violence? While, as usual, it's not what the story is about that sticks with us so much as what the story is about, y'know?  

I LOVE Batman, but every once in a while, it hits me that the immensity of money and resources and training and intellect which power his punches may not come from a place of real responsibility. Maybe he fights crime because crime needs to be fought, but often it’s because what “crime” means in Gotham is huge gangs of well-funded, absurdly armed, illogically dedicated mercenary thieves with garish masks and/or team colors under the direction of a dangerous, brilliantly organized parody of our fears about mental illness. Of course, this comes out in the most obvious ways in video games and the action scenes of Zach Snyder movies. What I love most about Batman stories is when he’s a brilliant detective. I also love when the philosophical and psychological weirdness of the characters plays out with fascinating interactions. Still, no matter who is writing the character, Batman fights a self-perpetuating struggle against his inner demons by committing extreme violence against the poor, disenfranchised, and mentally ill. And y’know what? I’m fine with that. When it’s written well, we can get lost in a world where criminals are actually endlessly resourced, psychotic enough to distance themselves from us and make them intriguing but controlled enough to plan and act with extreme balance over long periods, and anyone who commits an act of crime deserves be punished physically for it. He is on a vendetta in a world designed to feed that vendetta. On a more meta level, this is for the sake of continuing stories. In-universe, I don’t think Bruce believes he has a responsibility toward justice as much as he believes in his personal war. Now, this is lovingly explored with his relationship toward Alfred, the Robins, and his JL colleagues. One of my favorite areas it’s explored, though, is with the charitable work of Wayne Enterprises. What does it say that such work is usually done in memory of his parents, who perhaps understood the weight of being responsible with their privilege in a way they never got to teach their son? Bruce is foremost driven by guilt and trauma. Maybe that’s hopeful that he’s able to achieve a lot of good out of that, but in many ways what makes the Justice League so great for Batman is that he’s around folks motivated by things other than grief-rage.

Spider-Man stories go in many of the same directions. His lack of money and resources are usually made up for with smarts, determination, and one of the coolest power sets in superhero comics history. He would be vastly over-powered, save for that his insecurities, lack of experience/training (depending on the story), and sense of responsibility tend to hold him back. Further is the less often explored ways in which his powers hinder his ability to function normally, though when it is explored it adds another lump of coal to this Charlie Brown’s stocking in the best sense. While Peter is driven by guilt over his part in the death of Uncle Ben, his largest motivation has always been a charge toward personal responsibility.

While many have had to earn Batman’s respect, in most stories he sets the bar—to be Robin or another member of the Bat-family or of the League. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it does rarely set up a chance for Batman to question his own right to fight this war. I. AM. BATMAN. And that’s all the right he needs. It’s an overly simplistic critique, but I’m not saying it’s wrong either. I’m saying it works for the character because it’s consistent, and when it’s played with in interesting ways that’s great. It’s an aspect of this hero, but I wouldn’t call it heroic. It’s not that he never doubts or feels unsure, but part of his character is that at the end of the adventure, he prevails because he is sure. He is who he is. Maybe that’s the hallmark of DC superheroes. The insignia on their chest is a license—a societal approval earned by dealing with certain people in ways the law won’t allow but we feel is maybe necessary. You wear the suit, you then go do heroic things. 

Spider-Man is constantly having to live up to more than just his own self-made mantel. He decides who Spider-Man is, and he’s decided that Spider-Man is gonna use all that power to act responsibly. To act justly. To stick up for the little guy. At the same time, there’s a sense in which he’s Spider-Man no matter what he does. He’s got the powers and the problems even when he tries to throw away the suit or it gets taken from him. He’s got the responsibility to own up to because the world is always asking things from him, just like it does from any of us. 

If Batman took a week off and Bruce Wayne took his private jet on vacation, there’d still be a Peter Parker-like kid somewhere in Gotham just trying to get by. Maybe the super powers take a bit of relatability away from that, but I definitely think Peter would be using his brains and his heart to do good without the suit. I’d like to believe Bruce without Batman would too, but for any sense of realism, he’d have to find a way to deal with that darkness anyway. Knowing all the other super rich, disturbed folks in his universe, maybe he’d be better or maybe he’d be even worse than Lex Luthor. But then, could Spider-Man deal with all the trouble in his life without the ability to inflict violence on his own city’s poor, disenfranchised, and mentally ill? I think his relationship with Aunt May, his friends, his optimism, and swinging on webs around his favorite city certainly help.

It’s a power fantasy, for sure, and there’s a place for that. As a victim of crime, of course I’ve fantasized about beating up criminals. BAM! POW! You bet. 

I think we should question and be very critical of the way violence is portrayed as heroic in our favorite stories. I think the thematic motivation behind any character drives their actions and reactions most, or it should in well-written fiction. 

So I’ll wrap all this up with saying of course that’s fiction. This is real life. Still, from where do we learn our lessons? When you web up some guy and bust his head because he’s breaking into a car, do you care that you messed up and it’s actually his own car? When you get obsessed with trying to prove yourself to a hero because of their legend as an icon, do you consider the economic and social impact of their war-profiteering? Maybe we’ll never have to live up to these specific situations, but it is important to think of the motivation behind our violent action. 

Why do we want to be a global military super-power? Do we act out of a responsibility derived from the power we already hold as individuals and as a collective force? Do we act out of revenge or guilt or self-doubt or fear bred from trauma? Like Rachael said in Batman Begins, “Justice is about harmony. Revenge is about you making yourself feel better.”

Power and responsibility. Hand in hand. When we continually use our power to dominate over others; when we continue to neglect taking responsibility for those we’ve hurt; when we continually hurt ourselves by taking the blame for what’s not our fault; or when we feel unable to take responsibility for our own actions because of our sense of powerlessness—we gotta go back to our motivations, we gotta be sure of the information behind each situation, we gotta be honest with ourselves and others. 

For the sake of justice, for the sake of right, for the sake of our own story as individuals and as part of a community, we gotta know the why behind our punch before we decide to throw it. 

Thanks for reading, 
Odist


Sunday, July 2, 2017

26/52 - Back to the Grove

"What's coming is bigger than me. The world needs heroes they can know, not gods, to inspire them—show them they can be heroes." 
- Batman (JLA Rebirth #1 Steve Orlando)

Dear Internauts,

I'm sitting here thinking maybe this week I won't post. I mean, what's the point, right? I failed these last 26 weeks at trying to find a way back into some kinda independent life. Despite working hard every day applying to jobs so I could move out of my Aunt and Uncle's house, I could only find temp work, and little at that. Despite the temp work allowing me to pay the rent they asked due to its long hours during the limited run, I was kicked out with little notice as some kind of condescending incentive for me to get my act together. Despite me working every day on my writing and music, it's not like that counts as a job in the eyes of some folks, even if you're able to pay rent.

Not everyone wants to sell their soul to a dead-end corporate job for ten to twelve hours a day ad infinitum. I was told that should be my goal. Normally, I'd say to anyone who thinks that, well, they obviously don't know me or have much sense about anything, but when that person decides if I have a place to sleep at night, I'll try to be a bit more polite. Thing is, I'm feeling absurdly passive aggressive at the moment. I spent the last seven months trying to stay out of the way of folks who had said they were happy to have me as long as I needed. Now, maybe I should know that no one actually means shit like that, and as I've said before, I never intended to be in that house as long as I was. I spent every day trying to leave in fact. I don't like feeling like a hanger-on. I don't like feeling like I'm leeching off the kindness of others beyond what they're happy to provide. Asking for help isn't easy for me. Necessity makes it a bit easier, though.

I kinda went dark there for a few years, between when everything fell apart in Nashville to when I started doing this blog thing on the weekly. As much as I can never truly express the abundance of gratitude I have for my folks allowing me to stay with them, supporting, and encouraging me when I've nowhere else to go and no one else to which I can turn, I still feel a bit like I'm sinking into a hole again. I got back to PA on Friday, unpacked my car on Saturday, and besides a lunch with the fam today, spent most of it just feeling lost and exhausted. If I didn't feel like my life had direction in Massachusetts then how is being back in PA supposed to make me feel?

Now, I more than kinda hate when this blog just turns into a rambling complaint storm. As much as I despise the idea that folks should shut up about their problems because "someone always has it worse"—that's such a dismissive, compassionless, patronizing mode of thought—I do recognize that I've come out of some bad turns in less than the worst of times. Of course there are worse things than feeling lost and worthless and discouraged in your twenties. Of course my many privileges and lucky turns and support systems keep me afloat due to no act of my own or merit I hold. Still, a buoy ain't a sailboat.

So what's next?

We ask that so much, don't we? We ask it as if we ever know. It's short-hand for hope. Truth is, we dangle on high-wires, scratching itches and beating down the bitterness grown from grumpy self-reflection.

I don't even know if I believe in the concept of bad people anymore. I think evil is as much a conceptual tool used to control others' actions as it is our own. We're all pretty scared, and fear keeps us moving. We all find methods of living that work for us, and sometimes those involve helping or hurting others. Sometimes we can tell the difference, but most of the time we're too busy trying not to starve to question our motives beyond familiar patterns of thought and behavior.

I'm an angry person. I'm a sad person. I'm traumatized and slow. I spent too much of my childhood being told how smart I am to know how to work hard at anything I'm not immediately half-decent at. Thus, I know how to give up on myself when it comes to anything I can easily use to declare myself inferior.

When your entire self-image is based on comparing yourself to the arch-tropes of Good and Evil, it's pretty easy to feel both absurdly self-righteous and self-loathing. Maybe growing up is just learning to relate to Judge Frollo, Phoebus, Esmerelda, and Quasimodo all at the same time. Maybe it's going from thinking Holden Caufield is cool to thinking he's sad to thinking he's a person. Characters aren't us, but we craft ourselves out of pieces of mythology, using characters like stained glass, never holding ourselves up to exactly the same light one moment to the next.

I've been lettering the comic, meaning I'm rewriting dialogue and second and third-guessing the placement of word balloons.

I've also got a song or two that could really been something new.

I already miss the ocean, but I certainly don't miss the weird, woodsy, kinda elitist suburb vibe of where I'd been living this year so far. Not that I didn't gag on the scent of mushroom compost being back here in south eastern PA.

On July the 20th, I'll be back in Massachusetts, in Somerville, for the MA Solo Artist Awards show. Please, if you're in the area and free that night, consider buying a ticket and coming. I think it could be a great time. I'll certainly play my heart out, but I only get to play if I can sell enough tickets. So at least if you've read this far down the page consider it. Could be wicked awesome. Here's the link: http://bridgingthemusic.com/events/category/boston/

Of course I'll keep you updated as I do whatever I'll be doing next. This week is gonna be a challenge to stay as far from fatalistic as my music and medication will allow.

I over-share because I care. If you too are struggling to figure out the next moment of your journey, please know you're not alone.

Thanks for reading,
Odist