39/52 - Overwhelmed by Tragedy?

"It’s as if you’re a sponge that is completely saturated and has never been wrung out. You can only take so much." -Laura Van Dermoot Lipsky

Dear Internauts,

Sometimes it feels all too overwhelming, the world of wounds and worries so blatant. The news of suffering is catastrophic in its abundance of catastrophe. It's so easy to feel guilty for not doing anything to help, but then immediately feel guilty and stuck with no idea how to help. Nothing ever seems to be enough as our awareness of tragic circumstances grows to the point of over-saturation.

I'm exhausted simply in existence—a result of my own issues—but simply trying to stay aware of current events makes me feel trapped beyond escape. The ways in which I see others helping via donations of time, money, blood, or however else seem always just beyond me. Even if I do give, how can I trust any of the "non-profit" organizations whose business practices seem to be in ever-shifting trustworthiness?

At a certain point, it's not even cynicism, but simply gravity. There's a sense of falling without a net, having painted myself into a corner, trapped behind a fire-hot door in a smoking room, while the weight on my back grows heavier and the hole in my stomach expands exponentially. It's a kind of fatalistic defeatism, ever reinforced by the madness of a 24/7 infinite news feed. Even if I can force myself to turn everything off and hide away, I can't forget that the world is melting, the leaders are lying, the businesses are stealing, and the bombers are bombing.

What do I do with the dark sense of certainty that every new bad thing is "the worst" of that type of bad thing we've ever seen? The availability of news stories and the desire for the news media to present captivating post-titles is certainly at play, but it's also a cyclical expansion of this common theme that everything is getting worse.

Now there's every kind of bias at play. Our fear is a survival tactic, and one way to find a minuscule tidbit of relief from emotional pain is to feel our emotions vindicated by the likes and shares of the fear we post and re-post.  What I'm doing right now is simply sharing my pain in the hopes that maybe you can relate, not necessarily with the hope that you will help me feel any better or change my perspective but only that you might give the equivalent of a digital passing nod. Some semi-conscious sense of togetherness can be found in communal terror. From the over-abundance of emergency powers we give to the military and government leadership in the wake of tragedy, to the sense of perverse wonder we find in watching and thumbs-upping "fail" videos.

In truth, this is one of the most peaceful times in history. We have better medicine, longer life spans, and lower infant mortality than ever before. The abundance of accessible information means the growth of more complex and easily attainable education, as well as the creation and dissemination of human personality and empathy through the arts and social media. The theory behind writing your pen pal is now the entire basis for most of human communication.

Still, sometimes it feels wrong to celebrate such positives in light of all the negative. Do I believe that it's only a matter of a greater percentage of good dispelling the bad?

I spent so much time growing up being told that I had to do good because God told me to. Simultaneously, the bad in the world was unavoidable, indefatigable, and unchangeable because of sin, so we might as well just keep our own souls shiny till the after-life and the kingdom come down.
Of course, many of these same people who preached this played the part of many a philosopher and didn't live as such in their day to days.

I like to believe that even the most self-righteous person might have a twinge of goodness in them deep down, at least enough to help out their fellow human being if forced to face that fellow as a fellow.

And there's the rub. Empathy.

It's what every bigot lacks and what every sad soul needs. It's the thing that keeps morality going whether or not you believe there's a divine Big Brother watching over your shoulder, Naughty or Nice list in hand. It's the fast friends children form before we teach them to be racist, sexist, or classist. It's the most necessary quality in the formation of a healthy relationship between anyone and anyone else.

And it's both what keeps us feeling overwhelmed by all the suffering in the world and allows us to keep caring anyway.

I know what it's like to feel trapped by all this madness, and so I can say it's okay not to share in all my sadness.

When we can help, let's. But never because we think we have to or else. Always because we want to help our fellow being in need.

And as always, it's okay not to know what to do.

Thanks for reading,
Odist