Opinions

Okay, fine.

I agree that we should respect other people, and in no way does that exclude their right to an individual and sometimes quite differing set of opinions. From trivialities to moral necessities, you have a right to form and hold and change your mind about what you like and how you think.

However, that does not mean I have to allow you to hurt or otherwise disrespect others because of those opinions. It also doesn't mean that if I disagree with you, I have to hold my tongue and tolerate every bit of nonsense you may spew in defense of your viewpoints. I am in no way showing you any sort of respect by allowing you to demean yourself or others will ill-conceived, baseless prejudices just as you would be doing me a disservice by allowing me to hurt others with my own ridiculously intolerable notions.

That said, I have so much admiration for someone who can hold to something they believe in with all their heart.

The problem is that ideas are not as rigid as we like to pretend they are. We can't box something in as completely right or completely wrong, because we distance that idea from real world application. When we try to apply those kind of black and white perspectives to real world problems, we end up dismissing the actual people who will be affected.

This is why I'm completely fine with someone having different opinions and/or beliefs about major issues than I do, if they've put honest thought into it. I know not everyone is where I am in my thoughts on every issue.

When I was in middle school, I had completely different opinions on war, capitalism, institutionalized religion, hamburgers, superman, and most other things. Those opinions have shifted from a little bit more expansive all the way to complete opposite opinion as my experiences have broadened. My experiences, though, are not the same as everyone else's.

This can often frustrate me because people my own age can hold opinions I find vastly more immature, bigoted, or ignorant than my own. I think they should be at the same place I am because they've had the same amount of years to reach that place. What I tend to forget is that they're coming from a very different point of origin. I was raised by certain people in a certain culture in a certain area, and all the twists and turns of my life since then have helped shape my ways of thinking. Thus with those whose opinions frustrate me to no end, I must remember that their certainties have not been the same as mine.

[I didn't really grasp anything about classism in the U.S. till I was living out of my car and driving around looking for somewhere to park for the night. The same cops who made the streets safe for the middle-class white kid I was growing up made it very difficult to get a good night's sleep a few years later...and I was still white, so I got off fairly easy the couple times I got caught. The fact that I got off at all showed me how easily I could fit into the role of a middle-class white kid, pretending I was simply out late and had parked somewhere to rest my blue eyes before heading to my safe, warm bed somewhere close. "Of course, Officer. Thank you."]

I was very blessed to get to go overseas for the first time at age eight and two other times since then. I've had teachers, friends, and mentors in my life who have been patient enough with me to walk me through multiple sides of some tough issues. I had parents who filled my life with books and music and art and science and ideas. "Hey Dad (or hey Mom), why...?" was always followed by an honest, thoughtful answer. Best part, when he didn't know, he'd tell me he didn't know. All these factors and many more have grown in me a spirit of introspection, philosophical discovery, questioning pressupositions, and abstract mental exploration.

And still, I'm often quite wrong. Blatantly, disgustingly, where-in-the-world-is-he-coming-from wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong!

Does that mean it's not worthwhile to share my opinions? Not at all. To work through a thought process by employing an open, respectful dialogue can be one of the best ways to develop as a thinking person.

We gotta be prepared to be wrong. We gotta be prepared to feel silly or even stupid sometimes. We gotta know we're all coming from different places.

Most of all, it helps if we give one another the benefit of the doubt.

But what do I know?