Wannabesandhasbeens

Hello Internauts,

Lately, I've been thinking a whole lot about what the point is in pursuing this dream of mine.

Any artist, if they really care about it, will probably tell you that what they want is to be able to make a living doing what they love- creating and sharing that creation with those that can appreciate it and get something honest from it.

We all want to spend our time doing something worthwhile. We want our lives to be significant, to mean something more than simply doing what we must to survive day to day. Or maybe that's just me (though in a rare case, I doubt that).

I've met so many people with such similar goals in my life, but especially since moving down to Nashville. Everyone wants to "make it big" to "break" into "the scene". Everyone wants something tangible to say that their life and their art is worthwhile, and unlike folks pursuing certain other goals, artists have a history of driving themselves mad and even to death in this pursuit.

Thus why I now live in a town of wanna-be's and has-beens. It's never good enough and it's never going to be good enough. It's the thrill of the chase, the desperate hunger for not the perfect step so much as always the next step.

We delude ourselves, though, with the very tangible idea of numbers. If we're making enough money or if we're playing enough shows or if we're selling enough records, then we're successful. Then we've made it. Then our art is finally as worthwhile as we always believed it could be.

Sure, there are formulas for this, how to write the perfectly catchy, marketable song that will be a hit just long enough to make bank before fading into obscurity. But that's how you get "Call Me Maybe" not "Like a Rolling Stone".

Honest art--that can last and grow and affect change and make people really think--comes not from a place of shallow satisfaction but from a place of deeply constant dissatisfaction.

For instance, throughout most of human history, singing a song wasn't a way to become rich or a celebrity, it was a way to express oneself.

As much as I really want to be able to leave my job and spend all my time working on creating and expressing honest art, even if that never happens, money doesn't make you more of an artist.

Comfort doesn't make you more of an artist.

Health doesn't make you more of an artist.

A label doesn't make you more of an artist.

Pretty lights, a fancy sound system, and a huge crew don't change who you are on the inside, and that's where the fire really burns. That's where the real truth happens.

Then again, you gotta hone your craft. Honesty can take a good song and make it great, but there are also a lot of really terrible yet honest songs.