Day 1/365 - Beginning

Dear Internauts,

Resolving to blog every single day of this freshly squeezed year is a test unto itself. The every day of it will be a test but as is the resolution. Perhaps you too have resolved to do something new or different this year. Perhaps, like me, an history of poorly maintained wish gardens has knotted your resolve for resolutions into a choking, pringly mess. Perhaps the very idea of doing something daily other than self-loathing and vague pining seems comical in the least and often with the joke on us.

No matter.

The goal--I theorize--shall best be achieved not by a mind set out to write 365 entries but simply to write 1 entry a day.

Semantics.

But how often is the wording of a task the foundation for its achievement.

I believe I wrote to you at some point mentioning the virtue I perceive in valuing preparation over planning. Again, more a matter of wording than weight, but where I find disappointment in failed plans, I can more fully parse the inadequate moments within unpreparedness. Expectations, really, are the noose of flexibility.

So here I go with hopes which may stray too close to both wishes and almost plans.

Can I ever get or do or be what I want it I don't know what that is?

How about....

Writing everyday to move both plot and characters forward in stories and to process your journey each day. Don't be worried about sucky first drafts. First drafts are supposed to suck. Write for and submit to at least one short story contest/publisher a month.

Finding then getting then working at a job which doesn't counteract your growth toward mental and physical well-being.

Save money. Not sure right now how much you'll be getting in or what your needs will be all year, but be purposeful about saving some from any income.

Start saving, researching, and working toward moving out to a place of your own, preferably in a big city, preferably in New England.

Stop using snacks between meals like a security blanket. Stick to fruits, veggies, beans, nuts, and grains. Don't go a whole day without eating.

Drum, walk, run, bike, or find some other way to get your heart racing in a positive way at least four times a week. Build back the strength in your limbs and core so you can play music again.

Sing, play, practice, and/or write music every day. You feel better when you do.

Be kind to your body. Don't punish yourself with eating or not eating. Find something constructive to do--like blogging perhaps--instead of insulting, cutting, beating, or otherwise hurting yourself.

When you wake up, get out of bed and don't go back to bed until bedtime. The exceptions are in cases of illness and being kind to yourself. Still, even reading, playing games, and watching movies/shows/YouTube can be done sitting instead of lying down.

Spend more hours reading than you do watching.

Draw at least three times a week, including making cards for family and friends.

Spend more time on loving yourself and connecting with those who care about you than on those who  don't give you the time of day. Just because they don't love you anymore doesn't mean you're unlovable.

Go to therapy at least twice a month. Take your medication. Don't forget how far you've come no matter how small it may seem at times.

Go to at least one open mic a week as much as possible. Try out new material. Be bold. Be honest. Have fun. Focus nervous energy into excitement.

Look online for shows. Email venues. Build experiences playing live as much as you can.

Whenever the easiest thought is to hate on or berate yourself, consider something positive you've done that week and something you want to do. Think of and thank those who care about you. Be mindful of negativity. Show love and caring to family and friends whenever you feel too alone to function. Love yourself.

Check the news everyday. Stay informed.

Breathe. Stretch. Breathe some more.

You can do this. Believe it. Trust yourself.

Forgive yourself.

........

And that's plenty for now. I'll prob think of more and sand these down as we go along. The goal is to work toward good not to beat myself up for bad.

So I guess I'll be back here tomorrow. Thanks for reading and for being you. Remember all those times last year you thought you couldn't make it? Well guess what? You did it!

I'd love to hear or read about any of your hopes or goals for the futuristic sounding 2016.

Keep it real folks,

O. A.