"Yeah, but I'd be open. And then I'd look in your eyes, and I'd cry, and I'd like feel all this stuff and that's like not polite." - Caveh Zahedi
Dear Internauts,
I hate that it's always the whole country blamed for the actions of its leaders. We in the US know that we're not always in line with our government, but we talk as if every other government is indistinguishable from their country as an entire entity. The people of North Korea certainly should not be punished for the actions of their government. Thus, I suppose, one of the big problems with any war or military action at all. Whether it be a government or a violent sect within certain borders, the massive casualties of those not involved or responsible should be accounted for by those doing the killing. Instead, we continue to bomb across the Middle East. We threaten entire populaces because of the words and actions of a few.
Really, it's an extension of the way we view eachother. I can see my own intentions and complex motivations as extending from an individual will and unique worth. However, my first thought on seeing anyone else is to place them within an oversimplified category. If I almost back out of a parking spot into your car, it's because I've got a mind full of stress and problems and distractions, and I'm usually a much more conscientious driver. If you do it, though, you're just another bad driver belonging to some prejudicial stereotype.
How many attempts at discussing issues of gender, race, culture, sexuality, or class become immediately derailed by the clumping of a large number of people into a single homogenized box defined by stereotypes?
On the other hand, how many times do we justify our inclusion within the same group as an offender by claiming that they don't represent what it truly means to be a part of our side?
More responsibility for checking our like should certainly fall on us for the groups we choose to join than those we are inherently a part of by no will of our own. Still, to confront the injustices in larger society is impossible without admitting and addressing the imbalance applied to inherent differences.
It's a troubling trend of internet discourse not to allow anyone to make a mistake without pummeling them with hate and anger. We need to allow ourselves and each other the time and space to learn, otherwise there will only be different sides screaming at eachother. If we're actually trying to do better than we have been, we've gotta learn from and help one another to grow not just as better members of whatever groups we join or fall into but also as members of the larger human collective and as conscientious creatures of Earth.
What it comes down to is EMPATHY. Instead of jumping immediately to all the anecdotal evidence we accumulate which confirms our presuppositions about "those people", we can take a second to check our attitude and make an effort to step into their shoes. That's not a go for making assumptions that someone else is just like us, because that too is a dangerous level of close-mindedness. That being said, there's little harm to be found in respecting others enough to give them the benefit of the doubt.
If I can't eat, can't pay rent, can't get a job, can't function in a society that places so much weight on my shoulders to be financially stable and to strive for flashy prosperity—if the goal post keeps moving and the chains keep tying me down and I am left with no other options I can see for long enough, then if I steal to get by, am I an evil, irredeemable monster?
A man in a mask with a big, silver gun ruined my life and broke my mind for a drawer of singles and my empty wallet, but when I dig down and get really really really really real, I've gotta admit that he wasn't some isolated anomaly of meaningless evil. The true crime is a lifetime of circumstances and systems and dashed opportunities compounding together to fail him so hard that the best option he could see was to run through that door.
This isn't a dismissal of personal responsibility but a call to it.
We get to decide what kinda world we want to live in, what kinda society we want to build, what kinda future we want to set out towards. If we want laws and governments which serve the people and protect us, then we can't keep pretending that other people's problems don't matter.
It's not that you owe anyone anything or that you're bad and should feel guilty. That kinda shaming is for the pious and personally, it's gotten me nowhere but the pits.
The point is—despite all my nihilistic introversion—to participate in the human race is not optional. You exist. You are complex and beautiful and meaningful, and you may love or hate yourself but you know there's a lot going on inside you. All I'm proposing is that there's a lot going on inside me too. And inside everybody.
And maybe we're all a mess, and that's okay.
Because maybe we can be a mess together.
Thanks for reading,
Odist
p.s. - if you haven't heard it yet, here's my song about trying to find something for the pain
p.p.s. - and here's a video of Jim Carrey on painting
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