Blessings and Curses

Perhaps this is inappropriate for today: but I think murder is always wrong. (And I also think that the purposeful taking of another's life is murder, just so we're clear.)

Why would such a (perhaps) obvious statement be inappropriate for today? Because unlike a whole lot of folks in this country, I don't give moral pardon to the military when it comes to the subject of murder. You don't stop being a human being when you're in a uniform or when you're being shot or blown up by someone in a uniform.

Yesterday, I heard a politician on the radio say that today we should take time to thank those who are serving in the middle east for protecting our freedom and keeping us safe from the type of terrorists who made a tuesday eleven years ago mean something a bit more daunting than it should have. I know this isn't a popular opinion, but I'm not gonna thank you for killing in my name. I am an American citizen and as such I feel the same weight of pain that any citizen would if they didn't know anyone directly affected by the tragedy back then.

It hurts, still, and it's hard to think of normal things happening on this date. I still remember that it was a tuesday then too. I was in fifth grade. My class was angry when we found out, and it was generally accepted for us (grade school students at a "Christian" private school) to react with vengeful expressions. We cheered the idea of wanting to get those terrorists back for what they'd done (even though none of us really understood what they had done for a while and most of us hadn't even heard the word terrorist till that day).

A few years later, I started referring to myself as a pacifist. And a few years after that I hear a politician talking about how I should thank the military for spending my tax dollars on occupying, bombing, and shooting up countries filled with human beings who had nothing to do with flying those planes.

Evil works systemically. And it's a very wide-spread system. We are not immune because we're American.

In the words of Author Scott Evans: “To go closer still is to acknowledge that we’re not really ‘pro-life’ if the only type of death we’re against is that of the unborn.

To be pro-life is to be anti-war, anti-poverty, and anti-hunger.

To be pro-life is to fight against depression, self-harm, and all causes of suicide.

To be pro-life is to refuse to live out a religion that brings condemnation, judgment, superiority, guilt, and shame. Especially if it calls itself Christianity.”

Even now, the TV in the McDonalds (whose free wifi i appreciate, even if their food kinda makes me sick), military leaders applaud the sacrifice of those who've killed and died in the name of freedom which just kinda makes me feel more guilty. It's as if the victims of the attacks and the soldiers who died in Afghanistan or Iraq should both be seen as victims of the same villainy. No, sir, though they are both victims, the villains in the second case are those who sent them there. In the general's words, I'm blessed to live in a country that's so free. (And now the news is elaborating on a story of soldier suicides...hmm.)

All this to illustrate perhaps a completely unrelated point:

Today, I woke up on someone else's couch. I folded laundry I had done at a different friend's apartment a few days prior and stuffed it into my bag. I drove around till I found a Waffle House (because it's good and cheap without being meatburgers), and then drove around some more till I came across a lake, by which I sat and read because I didn't want to have to pay just to sit somewhere. When I got too thirsty and finished the book, I resigned to paying to sit somewhere and wrote at Starbucks for a while.

I would much rather have spent all day inside my own air-conditioned apartment, writing and reading and drinking my own water. However, I also wouldn't have had it any other way than to sit by that beautiful lake. I didn't get any response from anyone I've contacted about jobs or apartments today, but I also got to have dinner with an old friend who encouraged me a lot. I'm getting poorer by the day, but I'm also not working for or paying taxes to a hypocritical, murderous government.

If we look at the terrible things that surround us and we don't acknowledge that they are terrible, we cannot critically find ways to change them for the better. However, if we are lost in the darkness of the night, we may not learn to appreciate the moon and stars. As the old book says, "Don't be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Yes, out of context biblical paraphrasing is annoying, I know.)

If I am focusing on the curses in my life, it skews the way I see the blessings till I can't really see them as blessings anymore. (It would be great to have steady income, but to do that I would not have the time to work on my music and writing this much.) However, if I can wake up in the morning and make the choice to take note of the blessings in my day, then curses start to look a little bit more like the road less taken, problems more like opportunities. 

Please remember, I am not nearly that optimistic and truly believe that the world probably is all going to shit. But, it'll still all be okay. "It's the end of the world as we know it, but I feel fine." 

And just because something horrific has happened in your life, does not mean that you have to be horrific in return. Just because your day, your world, or your situation is in the midst of chaos, does not mean that you must cause more chaos in how you react. Chaos is a necessary part of change, but it only leads to positive change if we react with love. 

In the midst of curses, seek to be a blessing. 

In the midst of blessing, seek to be a blessing. 

Wicked inappropriate enough 9/11 blog? check.