Movin' On Up...or Just Further Away?

So tomorrow night I might just be moving into a house, and if you read my last post, you're aware that I've started working a job.

There's a part of me that's more relieved than words can say, as I'm actually making an income of sorts and beginning to think of all the things I'll be able to do with an actual Place (mostly catching up on some sleep).

However, there's another part of me that wonders if all I'm really doing is buying into the paradigms of a stuff-centric society. Is being more comfortable all that my life's about? Will I really be able to speak truth when I'm cashing in on the benefits of a lie—the lie of material joy?

Today I got to see some of the many ways the second-hand goods and clothes at work help young families and the immigrant poor in the greater Nashville area.

I also had to sit down with my paycheck and figure out how much I'd have left after rent and such each month. Whereas before I felt no real worries about money (I knew I was steadily getting poorer so why not give to anyone who asked) now there's this rising voice in the back of my head. It's saying something about a budget and being fiscally responsible and sounds like a curmudgeonly math teacher.

Sure, with an income and a room of my own, I'll have less to worry about (getting kicked out of places or woken up by cops with their hands on their sidearms), but I'll also be less connected to the real folks down here.

Everybody hurts, everybody suffers, everybody has issues. But if you want to get to know a species, find them on the edge of their selves. That's where you don't even need to debate ideologies or philosophies, because they're busy having debates all over your face.

Getting any more comfortable or affluent than that and it's just a slowly numbing slope till you become too detached to relate.

p.s.- One of the things that really bugs me about work, I will say, is that it's a fairly fixed schedule and one that makes it impossible for me to keep recording on saturdays. I am hoping to do something about this soon.