Dear Internauts,
I don't know what it's like to be a female and to face the kind of
sexist horror that females face on the daily. I feel like the most I can
do is be supportive, try to learn and grow and change my way of
thinking, and to call out other males being a-holes so we can all grow
and change for the better.
My whole life I've been told that what
makes a "real man" is a set of attributes that could also describe an
old tree, or a bear, or a member of the Round Table of Camelot. The
strength of both body, mind, and character required to live up to
manhood standards varied widely depending on who was giving the lecture
and in most cases seemed to have something to do with that guy's own
deep insecurities.
Sometimes it was about taking care of the family.
Sometimes it was about hating the Yankees.
Sometimes it was about wearing boxers instead of briefs.
But
the idea that there is a separation between a biological maleness and a
cultural maleness, and that the accomplishment of the latter as a kind
of more sincere maturity, brings to fruition some secret goal of the
former into capital M Man is dangerously pervasive in the way we raise
not only young boys but all children. What makes a man a man?
Appealing
to this competition based quest for identity and belonging may suit
some marketers, but as has been pointed out by many smart bloggers on
here, actual "REAL" men commit hate crimes, against women, minorities,
children, and other men. Therefore should the idea for fighting abuse
that "real men don't _____" be abolished as a slogan? Or perhaps is there
some underlying psychology that can reveal a way to reach young men
before they follow in the violent footsteps of their predecessors?
As
boys we are told that real men, manly men, true men, whatever... are
leaders. That's fine and all, but when specified, leadership is taught
as taking control from others, maintaining a strong stance of power over
others, and shutting down others' attempts to gain any control or power in their lives.
Not
only is there an always present paranoia that one might disappoint male
authority figures but that, as men, we must fight them for power and do
whatever it takes to hold onto that power once we have it.
One
way to interrupt this cycle is through example. Kids need not only
female and male authority figures in their life to be open and honest
with them from a place of equality but also to be allowed the same
opportunities and responsibilities, with no arbitrary limitations set up
simply because of socially inflicted gender norms.
It is my
strongly held belief that if children are raised up from a place of
equality, both in how they are treated and how their examples of
appropriate adulthood treat one another, than they will mature along
those lines. If however, girls and boys are told that the "real" version
of their adult self must hold to some superficial and harmful standard
of behavior, ability, or appearance, than the current cycles of violent
oppression will continue.
Start from equality. Exemplify
positive interaction. Grow in individuality as well as honest community.
And of course remember that life is messy and complicated. There are no
easy answers.
The problem, however, is obvious. Men must stop committing violent acts. “Violence is the behavior of someone incapable of imagining other solutions to the problem at hand" (Vincenc Fisas).
Yes,
it comes down to power, which means it comes down to the fear of losing
power, which means it comes down to thinking that a man's identity is
founded upon power.
The ultimate fear is being no one, losing
self. So we must stop teaching boys that maleness equals power. We must
stop equating competition over power to an unequal gender system and
instead recognize how such an infrastructure has devastated our species
for far too long.
Women deserve better, so much better. Little
boys deserve better than to have their biggest examples be violent,
weapon-baring, greedy, narcissists. Little girls deserve better than to
be told they must live to please such villains.
That's all I've got for now...what are your thoughts?
Friday, June 27, 2014
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Facade
Growing up going to camp and school and church, I heard a lot of
speeches about the way my female peers ought to dress so as not to tempt
the males. At the same time, the males were taught how to avoid being
tempted by the inherent and evil sexuality of females.
This was usually a lecture presented by an adult male to adolescent
males and females. This fixation on the sexualization of the female
body, of the snare males could so easily fall into by womanly wiles, of
the double standard by which one group was declared dangerously powerful
and therefore stripped of all power. This was often followed by an
addendum that girls should remember they are more than their outward
appearance.
Honestly, I’ve no idea how any of my female peers make it through such cognitive dissonance and oppressive hypocrisy. I’m so sorry for the ways in which I’ve pushed this propaganda myself. Thank you for being patient with me anyway.
And guys, let’s step it up. Call out sexism both in ourselves and others. Be respectful. Please.
__________
I know it's been a while since I've posted here and for that I apologize. I have so very much I'd like to express about these many months but have yet to find the right words. Soon though, I hope.
In the meantime, feel free to check out my new album, HAZARD LIGHTS
Half of all future album sales will be going toward WATER
Honestly, I’ve no idea how any of my female peers make it through such cognitive dissonance and oppressive hypocrisy. I’m so sorry for the ways in which I’ve pushed this propaganda myself. Thank you for being patient with me anyway.
And guys, let’s step it up. Call out sexism both in ourselves and others. Be respectful. Please.
__________
I know it's been a while since I've posted here and for that I apologize. I have so very much I'd like to express about these many months but have yet to find the right words. Soon though, I hope.
In the meantime, feel free to check out my new album, HAZARD LIGHTS
Half of all future album sales will be going toward WATER
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Why You're Wrong aka Existential Waffles
Here's why, if it has to be one or the other, I prefer to argue facts online and discuss ideas in person. You've most likely done way more research about whatever topic we're arguing.
This is probably why you felt okay getting into an argument in the
first place. Maybe not. If so, though, I'd like to be able to come from a
relatively even ground as far as our abilities to bring up relevant
studies and stats. This way we can actually come to a more educated conclusion of some kind, and whatever our mental scuffle is about will not have been thrown around in vain.
Most folks I've argued with about facts in person don't want me on an even ground with them as far as information is concerned. There seems to be more of an emphasis placed on putting me down for my ignorance than educating me and possibly learning something themselves. Maybe this is why it turns into an argument, because it's not about respecting the other but putting them in their place.
In most cases, if you really cared about the topic at hand, you'd want to help me understand where you're coming from, not slam me down with the almighty force of how brilliantly you memorized an article in the Times. If you want to try online though, at very least I can also look up so half-assed editorial bullshit as strongly-partisan as yours.
Ideas? Let's discuss ideas anywhere! Anytime! Anyverse! Seriously! Or funnily! I am madly in love with ideas!
Facts? They tend to be boring and I will be critical of your bigotry about how yours are "so much better and therefore I suck."
But ideas? I will make sweet passionate love to ideas and in the morning there will be waffles.
Existential waffles.
Most folks I've argued with about facts in person don't want me on an even ground with them as far as information is concerned. There seems to be more of an emphasis placed on putting me down for my ignorance than educating me and possibly learning something themselves. Maybe this is why it turns into an argument, because it's not about respecting the other but putting them in their place.
In most cases, if you really cared about the topic at hand, you'd want to help me understand where you're coming from, not slam me down with the almighty force of how brilliantly you memorized an article in the Times. If you want to try online though, at very least I can also look up so half-assed editorial bullshit as strongly-partisan as yours.
Ideas? Let's discuss ideas anywhere! Anytime! Anyverse! Seriously! Or funnily! I am madly in love with ideas!
Facts? They tend to be boring and I will be critical of your bigotry about how yours are "so much better and therefore I suck."
But ideas? I will make sweet passionate love to ideas and in the morning there will be waffles.
Existential waffles.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Talk, Talk, Talk
Hello dear Internauts,
We judge someone's intelligence most often not on what they actually know or have the ability to know but on their ability to communicate that information in a way that we, with our own level of intelligence, can understand, interpret, or at least perceive as intelligent. Therefore, if someone communicates in a way we believe is unintelligent, we judge them as being unintelligent, no matter what they're actually saying.
For example, the social commentary in rap music can often teach young people outside an urban setting a whole lot more about life in the city than they are led to believe by their racist parents who don't like all that "ghetto speak".
Personally, I've only recently begun to see how truly brilliant my own mother is, partially because she is the only member of my immediate family to exhibit some blatantly extroverted communicative behaviors when it comes to sharing and processing ideas. Where my father, my sister, and I will think about what we want to say about a topic and then dismiss that and say something else entirely, my mother can carry on entirely one-sided conversations for hours, seeming to touch on every side of the topic but never quite pin-pointing her meaning. In either case, true feelings are hidden from the listener, but since I was used to communicating through what I pretentiously refer to as my "filter", I thought my method of selectively sniping out bits of opinion was more thoughtful and intellectually sound. I do not mean to say I ever saw her as particularly unintelligent, but it was a lot harder for me as someone who lives so much of my life inside my head, to relate to and interpret a much more external thought-life. Turns out, it's simply a difference in communication styles
While my method of throwing out a thought once it has been checked, rechecked, reworked ten times is a lot like an email or facebook chat or other form of turn-based correspondence, hers is more immediate and interactive. She is leaving more room for listeners to jump in and split the conversation off by sharing some of her thought process with the other. While remaining intellectually independent in the source of her thinking, her communication style opens up the thought process between the speaker and the listener.
Earlier I called this more "all cards on the table" method of communication blatantly extroverted not simply because in the more common sense my mother is definitely socially extroverted, but because this style of hers seems to me to be far more interactive for a group of two or more. You share your ideas and I'll share mine and we'll have this conversation together as it were. The more introverted form I find myself falling into seems to be so because it has already form a shell of opinions about the idea it's going to present before bringing it before any listener.
Ultimately, the language, the slang, and the personal communication styles of a speaker don't give you nearly as much basis to judge their intelligence as we often try to reason. Just cause someone talks in a way you find unintelligent doesn't mean they are. Maybe we're dismissing some important ideas simply because of our prejudices toward how folks "should" talk. Worse still, maybe we're dismissing an entire person.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Speaking of things to listen to, feel free to check out my new song Philadelphia, based on some real-life experiences I had getting lost in the city.
If you'd like you can listen to and download the song HERE.
Any proceeds from the track will go towards ProjectHome as they help to get folks in Philly into good homes.
We judge someone's intelligence most often not on what they actually know or have the ability to know but on their ability to communicate that information in a way that we, with our own level of intelligence, can understand, interpret, or at least perceive as intelligent. Therefore, if someone communicates in a way we believe is unintelligent, we judge them as being unintelligent, no matter what they're actually saying.
For example, the social commentary in rap music can often teach young people outside an urban setting a whole lot more about life in the city than they are led to believe by their racist parents who don't like all that "ghetto speak".
Personally, I've only recently begun to see how truly brilliant my own mother is, partially because she is the only member of my immediate family to exhibit some blatantly extroverted communicative behaviors when it comes to sharing and processing ideas. Where my father, my sister, and I will think about what we want to say about a topic and then dismiss that and say something else entirely, my mother can carry on entirely one-sided conversations for hours, seeming to touch on every side of the topic but never quite pin-pointing her meaning. In either case, true feelings are hidden from the listener, but since I was used to communicating through what I pretentiously refer to as my "filter", I thought my method of selectively sniping out bits of opinion was more thoughtful and intellectually sound. I do not mean to say I ever saw her as particularly unintelligent, but it was a lot harder for me as someone who lives so much of my life inside my head, to relate to and interpret a much more external thought-life. Turns out, it's simply a difference in communication styles
While my method of throwing out a thought once it has been checked, rechecked, reworked ten times is a lot like an email or facebook chat or other form of turn-based correspondence, hers is more immediate and interactive. She is leaving more room for listeners to jump in and split the conversation off by sharing some of her thought process with the other. While remaining intellectually independent in the source of her thinking, her communication style opens up the thought process between the speaker and the listener.
Earlier I called this more "all cards on the table" method of communication blatantly extroverted not simply because in the more common sense my mother is definitely socially extroverted, but because this style of hers seems to me to be far more interactive for a group of two or more. You share your ideas and I'll share mine and we'll have this conversation together as it were. The more introverted form I find myself falling into seems to be so because it has already form a shell of opinions about the idea it's going to present before bringing it before any listener.
Ultimately, the language, the slang, and the personal communication styles of a speaker don't give you nearly as much basis to judge their intelligence as we often try to reason. Just cause someone talks in a way you find unintelligent doesn't mean they are. Maybe we're dismissing some important ideas simply because of our prejudices toward how folks "should" talk. Worse still, maybe we're dismissing an entire person.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Speaking of things to listen to, feel free to check out my new song Philadelphia, based on some real-life experiences I had getting lost in the city.
If you'd like you can listen to and download the song HERE.
Any proceeds from the track will go towards ProjectHome as they help to get folks in Philly into good homes.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
The Satan Pit
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the ideas of the Devil that I
was taught growing up, and how many people I know who still very much
like to focus on this form, this encapsulated being they refer to as
"The Enemy" (or whatever name you may like to use).
I'm not exactly sure what my thesis will/would be yet, but I am beginning to think that it could very well be an incredibly psychologically/sociologically harmful idea to have such a large piece of wide-spanning theology based around the personification of evil. To have an anthropomorphic figure embody ultimate evil and be ultimately evil creates this mindset, I am beginning to believe, that allows for one to picture the Other as completely evil. When that happens, we open the door to no longer see each individual as an individual, complex as we all are, but rather as a set of characteristics, actions, and shallow impressions which force them into one of two mental boxes, good or evil. Usually, these boxes are based on how well that person not only serves our moral and cultural perspective, but when we look deeper, it's how they serve us and our personal, selfish goals.
Does this idea of some doctrinal need for "The Enemy" to exist, at least as a bit more than a literary archetype, mean that those higher up on the theological pedagogy food chain believe we need a common enemy in order to pursue common goals?
What does that say about so many religion's views on humanity and our abilities to do just about anything?
What do the words we use to characterize who this devil, this ultimate evil, say about us and who or what in our every day lives we may see as having shades of devil in them?
Certainly, there are times when such descriptors have been used to refer to styles of music, television shows, movies, books, races, sexual orientations. Is "of the devil" just the more on-the-nose way of saying "something my personal theology is too naively bigoted to accept as anywhere near potentially good simply because it's different from what I'm used to"?
By creating, or at least believing in, the power of "The Enemy", are we shoving off our own responsibility, not only for our harmful actions, but for our judgmental worldviews?
This could get into a whole is there Ultimate Good and Ultimate Evil at all and what form does it/can it take debate—can good exist without evil and vice versa? I'm not really interested in that angels on the head of a pin nonsense, so much as I am with something more personal and practical.
I was indoctrinated as a kid to believe in some kind of Boogeyman whose very existence made it easier for me to label my fellow human beings as completely good or completely bad based on, essentially, whether or not I liked the cut of their jib. That's what I see as the most dangerous part of this whole issue.
[obviously, this is skewed toward my own personal religious experiences growing up, so your mileage may vary. All I ask is that you look at this as an opportunity to reevaluate the boxes you've placed others in perhaps a bit prematurely, and I will try to do the same.]
I'm not exactly sure what my thesis will/would be yet, but I am beginning to think that it could very well be an incredibly psychologically/sociologically harmful idea to have such a large piece of wide-spanning theology based around the personification of evil. To have an anthropomorphic figure embody ultimate evil and be ultimately evil creates this mindset, I am beginning to believe, that allows for one to picture the Other as completely evil. When that happens, we open the door to no longer see each individual as an individual, complex as we all are, but rather as a set of characteristics, actions, and shallow impressions which force them into one of two mental boxes, good or evil. Usually, these boxes are based on how well that person not only serves our moral and cultural perspective, but when we look deeper, it's how they serve us and our personal, selfish goals.
Does this idea of some doctrinal need for "The Enemy" to exist, at least as a bit more than a literary archetype, mean that those higher up on the theological pedagogy food chain believe we need a common enemy in order to pursue common goals?
What does that say about so many religion's views on humanity and our abilities to do just about anything?
What do the words we use to characterize who this devil, this ultimate evil, say about us and who or what in our every day lives we may see as having shades of devil in them?
Certainly, there are times when such descriptors have been used to refer to styles of music, television shows, movies, books, races, sexual orientations. Is "of the devil" just the more on-the-nose way of saying "something my personal theology is too naively bigoted to accept as anywhere near potentially good simply because it's different from what I'm used to"?
By creating, or at least believing in, the power of "The Enemy", are we shoving off our own responsibility, not only for our harmful actions, but for our judgmental worldviews?
This could get into a whole is there Ultimate Good and Ultimate Evil at all and what form does it/can it take debate—can good exist without evil and vice versa? I'm not really interested in that angels on the head of a pin nonsense, so much as I am with something more personal and practical.
I was indoctrinated as a kid to believe in some kind of Boogeyman whose very existence made it easier for me to label my fellow human beings as completely good or completely bad based on, essentially, whether or not I liked the cut of their jib. That's what I see as the most dangerous part of this whole issue.
[obviously, this is skewed toward my own personal religious experiences growing up, so your mileage may vary. All I ask is that you look at this as an opportunity to reevaluate the boxes you've placed others in perhaps a bit prematurely, and I will try to do the same.]
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Contentment is Complacency
For all those who want to be a good person and yet feel hindered in
their goal by their race, their gender, their sexuality, or whatever it
may be that makes you think "but I'm not like that" in your head. I get
it, I do.
Damn if I haven't gotten so angry for feeling like someone who doesn't even know me is using the supposedly safe space of their blog to express their pain and frustration in the general direction of folks who are like me in some generalized category.
Damn if I haven't wanted to give them a piece of my mind about how I may be privileged, sure, but I'm not like those other folks who've done all those bad things.
Damn if I haven't felt so worthless, like I was born a villain in some people's eyes and they'll always see me as bad all the while ignoring how other folks with the same characteristics being judged were doing and saying such horrible things that I myself kinda got used to it.
Damn if I haven't allowed it to happen and said nothing, done nothing.
Damn if I'm not confused more than half the time about what's okay to say or what topics it's helpful for me to comment on or if I should just listen or leave the space entirely or speak up or stand together or apart.
Damn if I know what an ally really is.
Damn if I'm even sure who I am or what the point is of all these boxes I create in my own head to judge other folks besides the ones society perpetuates with or without me.
Damn if I've done enough to really challenge my own thinking before I jump to argue with someone else.
Damn if I haven't poured salt on the wounds of so many hurting souls while nursing my own wounds and crying victim at the same time.
Damn if we're all not broken, bewildered hypocrites.
Damn if I'm not the worst.
I don't want to lash out at that which makes me uncomfortable anymore. Comfort hasn't taught me anything but how to be complacent, unthinking, and selfish. I want to learn from the new, the unusual, the different. If something is different from my experience, I want to be able to recognize that it's maybe completely normal for someone else. I want to learn from those who can teach me instead of just gobbling up the same old bullshit that led me to be so damn stubborn in my prejudice.
Damn if I don't want to be more of a loving, open-minded, hopeful, just human being.
This means that I want to say sorry. No disclaimers or qualifiers here about what I have or haven't done or how not all of us are like that or whatever. I'm simply sorry. I want to be different, but a sick person doesn't become well simply by pretending like they don't really need medicine. In the case of my prejudice and my bigotry, it's probably more a case of rebreaking and setting old injuries. I've healed wrong. I've been hurt and sought revenge on the wrong target. This has nothing to do with vengeance. This is about justice, and damn if that doesn't start in my own heart and mind. I'm so sorry.
Damn if I haven't been racist, sexist, homophobic, ableist, classist, and countless other forms of prejudicial bitterness that has so much more to do with me and my issues than with any other one of us seven billion plus beautifully complex people.
Damn if I ever give up on you.
Damn if I ever give up. Thank you for your patience and love through which I have grown. Thank you for your hate and frustration through which I have also grown.
Damn if it's not hard to live with myself most days.
Damn if I ever want to live the same tomorrow as I was yesterday.
Damn if I'm not trying to do this, but I know we all are in our own ways.
I'm sorry. Thank you. I forgive you. I love you.
But let's not stop here, okay?
Let's tear down some fucking walls, because...
well
Damn.
Damn if I haven't gotten so angry for feeling like someone who doesn't even know me is using the supposedly safe space of their blog to express their pain and frustration in the general direction of folks who are like me in some generalized category.
Damn if I haven't wanted to give them a piece of my mind about how I may be privileged, sure, but I'm not like those other folks who've done all those bad things.
Damn if I haven't felt so worthless, like I was born a villain in some people's eyes and they'll always see me as bad all the while ignoring how other folks with the same characteristics being judged were doing and saying such horrible things that I myself kinda got used to it.
Damn if I haven't allowed it to happen and said nothing, done nothing.
Damn if I'm not confused more than half the time about what's okay to say or what topics it's helpful for me to comment on or if I should just listen or leave the space entirely or speak up or stand together or apart.
Damn if I know what an ally really is.
Damn if I'm even sure who I am or what the point is of all these boxes I create in my own head to judge other folks besides the ones society perpetuates with or without me.
Damn if I've done enough to really challenge my own thinking before I jump to argue with someone else.
Damn if I haven't poured salt on the wounds of so many hurting souls while nursing my own wounds and crying victim at the same time.
Damn if we're all not broken, bewildered hypocrites.
Damn if I'm not the worst.
I don't want to lash out at that which makes me uncomfortable anymore. Comfort hasn't taught me anything but how to be complacent, unthinking, and selfish. I want to learn from the new, the unusual, the different. If something is different from my experience, I want to be able to recognize that it's maybe completely normal for someone else. I want to learn from those who can teach me instead of just gobbling up the same old bullshit that led me to be so damn stubborn in my prejudice.
Damn if I don't want to be more of a loving, open-minded, hopeful, just human being.
This means that I want to say sorry. No disclaimers or qualifiers here about what I have or haven't done or how not all of us are like that or whatever. I'm simply sorry. I want to be different, but a sick person doesn't become well simply by pretending like they don't really need medicine. In the case of my prejudice and my bigotry, it's probably more a case of rebreaking and setting old injuries. I've healed wrong. I've been hurt and sought revenge on the wrong target. This has nothing to do with vengeance. This is about justice, and damn if that doesn't start in my own heart and mind. I'm so sorry.
Damn if I haven't been racist, sexist, homophobic, ableist, classist, and countless other forms of prejudicial bitterness that has so much more to do with me and my issues than with any other one of us seven billion plus beautifully complex people.
Damn if I ever give up on you.
Damn if I ever give up. Thank you for your patience and love through which I have grown. Thank you for your hate and frustration through which I have also grown.
Damn if it's not hard to live with myself most days.
Damn if I ever want to live the same tomorrow as I was yesterday.
Damn if I'm not trying to do this, but I know we all are in our own ways.
I'm sorry. Thank you. I forgive you. I love you.
But let's not stop here, okay?
Let's tear down some fucking walls, because...
well
Damn.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Lovin' On Enemies
Your argument sucks. My argument sucks. Both sides have good intentions and faulty semantics. Everyone makes generalizations.
When you get hurt and lash out, the other side is going to feel threatened and won't immediately understand you're acting from a place of pain. Therefore, when we feel attacked, how 'bout we take the time to think about how the other person may be in pain.
If you're in a position of power/influence or align yourself with a group holding such power, recognize you have more responsibility for the pain you/that group has caused another than the victim of that oppression does to acquiesce to your comfort level.
However, if you are trying to introduce to a group the idea that you've been persecuted by them, it tends to be helpful to give them the benefit of the doubt that their ignorance supersedes purposefully malicious intent.
No one is saying you have to do anything for those who hurt you, but if you do choose to give them far more grace and patience than they deserve, you may just help them learn. The world will be a better place for it.
I certainly know that if folks had just assumed I was just another stereotypical part of an oppressive group instead of a human being, I never would've had the chance to learn from them and grow. I have learned so much and continue to grow.
It is not your responsibility to take the hard road and love your enemies, but hatred and vilification has only ever led to more hatred and vilification. Perhaps patience, forgiveness, and mutual understanding can lead to a new and brighter day.
We must stand together and at least try to be human beings together. Yes, this will mean that some mountains must finally fall; they must fall swiftly and heavily and with a mighty crash. However, this also means that the depths will be raised up into the light, into the central square, out of the filth and into focus. Let us see things as they are and stand in the common dust of our place in the meta-narrative of human history.
In saying all this, I recognize that I have come from and still bear the stench of my ancestors. I recognize that what I have had handed to me others have had stolen from them. I recognize that my pain and your pain do not look the same but that it is universal that we can both be in pain.
I hope I can help you in any way you may need me. I ask only for what I do not deserve: your continued patience.
And I still believe that the world can change.
After all, either hope is worth the risk of shifting paradigms or nothing is worth living for anymore.
When you get hurt and lash out, the other side is going to feel threatened and won't immediately understand you're acting from a place of pain. Therefore, when we feel attacked, how 'bout we take the time to think about how the other person may be in pain.
If you're in a position of power/influence or align yourself with a group holding such power, recognize you have more responsibility for the pain you/that group has caused another than the victim of that oppression does to acquiesce to your comfort level.
However, if you are trying to introduce to a group the idea that you've been persecuted by them, it tends to be helpful to give them the benefit of the doubt that their ignorance supersedes purposefully malicious intent.
No one is saying you have to do anything for those who hurt you, but if you do choose to give them far more grace and patience than they deserve, you may just help them learn. The world will be a better place for it.
I certainly know that if folks had just assumed I was just another stereotypical part of an oppressive group instead of a human being, I never would've had the chance to learn from them and grow. I have learned so much and continue to grow.
It is not your responsibility to take the hard road and love your enemies, but hatred and vilification has only ever led to more hatred and vilification. Perhaps patience, forgiveness, and mutual understanding can lead to a new and brighter day.
We must stand together and at least try to be human beings together. Yes, this will mean that some mountains must finally fall; they must fall swiftly and heavily and with a mighty crash. However, this also means that the depths will be raised up into the light, into the central square, out of the filth and into focus. Let us see things as they are and stand in the common dust of our place in the meta-narrative of human history.
In saying all this, I recognize that I have come from and still bear the stench of my ancestors. I recognize that what I have had handed to me others have had stolen from them. I recognize that my pain and your pain do not look the same but that it is universal that we can both be in pain.
I hope I can help you in any way you may need me. I ask only for what I do not deserve: your continued patience.
And I still believe that the world can change.
After all, either hope is worth the risk of shifting paradigms or nothing is worth living for anymore.
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